Paula Zahn turns 53 today. Apple CEO Steve Jobs is turning 54. Terry Semel, the man who ran Warner Bros., served as CEO of Yahoo!, and helped bring Courtenay Semel into this world, is 66. Nike co-founder Phil Knight is 71. Sen. Joe Lieberman is turning 67. Clayton, Dubilier & Rice chairman Joseph Rice is turning 77. Actor Billy Zane is 43. Dominic Chianese, better known as "Uncle Junior," is 78. Chad Hugo of The Neptunes and N.E.R.D is 35. Actor Barry Bostwick turns 64. Edward James Olmos is turning 62. And actor Abe Vigoda is celebrating his 88th birthday today.

On one hand we're sick to near-death of German provocateur Uwe Boll, whose perverse viral antics have amused us barely enough to keep us watching over the last month. But today the son of a bitch is making actual news: First by suing his Bloodrayne star Billy Zane for misleading him on the film's failed distribution in 2006, and then by actually confirming his proposed boxing match with flaxen fauxteur Michael Bay. So topical! So... angry! Find out where he's coming from (sort of) after the jump.