If you're tired of hearing tales of how your downstairs neighbor got a book deal for his online compilation of images of his bad hair days, we've got news for you. Brace yourself to hear about his TV development deal.

Williamsburg's "Herpes Avenger" responds to concerns that she herself might be spreading something nasty: An untruth! "Do i know that without a doubt, 100 % absolutely positively that Drew gave me herpes? Do we ever truly know anything?" Ha, all ontological and shit. But seriously: "I spoke to my doctor, and going over my sexual history she agrees that it would be quite an amazing scientific feat for me to have coincidentally had my first outbreak of herpes the week after having unprotected sex with a shady character in the midst of two months of sexual isolation." Okay, carry on. [Williamsburg's STD All-Stars]