Have you heard about beet juice? The blood-red elixir of the beet is apparently the hottest thing for Olympic athletes looking for a non-illegal performance boost. Soon the world will be caught up in beet juice fever. Too bad it tastes like "sweet dirt."

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. George Bush announced that he hated broccoli, and earned powerful enemies. Today: Michelle Obama announces that she and her husband hate beets.

The Way We Live Now: Forced into a life of crime. The System doesn't want us to go straight. Madoff's scam barely even hurt anyone. Spectacular helicopter heists get all the attention. Meanwhile, our big beet business plan gets torpedoed!