NYC supremacy! Teen girl craziness! Vermonster's revenge! Kiddie hypertension! Air bee science! Lying docs! Airline food! It's your somewhat scientific Health Watch, where we watch your health—upon a mountain of iced-cream!

So many questions about this! Like: Why Cipriani Wall Street, bees? What, did you want to get onto Page 6? God knows there are not a lot of great restaurants in the FiDi, but Zaitzeff is only a few blocks away!

To make up for melting ice caps and rising sea levels, global warming is also causing trees to grow "two to four times as fast as normal." In the hot, greenhouse-like future, we can all live high up in the trees. It'll be just like Avatar! Once mankind re-establishes a functioning society in our futuristic treescape, we can turn our attention to the swarms of bees set to take revenge for generations of honey-exploitation. They remember faces. They remember everything.

Well, kind of. A survey of beekeepers showed that fewer are finding evidence of the mysterious bee-killing ailment that was decimating populations. Does this mean the return of killer bees? [AP]

Stop Us If You Think That You've Heard This One Before: We're all outta Valkyrie jokes at this point, but it is our civic duty to relay to you that the MGM building has been evacuated this morning due to a bomb threat. As you'll no doubt recall, this same thing happened last Friday and also in early August. And for those of you keeping score at home, the storied Constellation Blvd. office building has also suffered anthrax threats and an unprovoked attack of killer bees in the last two months. If you want more information, we have the email sent out to employees after the jump.——————

At the cocktail party preceding the Council of Literary Magazines and Presses spelling bee last night, former Star editor Joe Dolce was rubbing up against cheetah-sheathed Page Six editor Paula Froelich. Was he here to spell, like Paula? "God no." He was here to cheer on his boy, HarperCollins VP Jonathan Burnham. Joe has been mostly occupied by cheering Jonathan on lately, though he hasn't been completely at loose ends during his year of unemployment: "I was working on a web-based project about design, but I had to pull back from it recently," he said, as a very tall, beautiful woman in a houndstooth skirt and enormous diamond earrings came up behind him and mischievously grinned at everyone. It was Alex Kuczynski, who has been described by this website as a "pervert," a "body modification expert," "somewhat plastically-reconstructed," a "facially-reconfigured semiotician," and most often, "Times rich lady beat reporter." "Hi Bunny!," she said. "I looove your bangs! You look like a person on the 'Brady Bunch'!" Did she mean Cousin Oliver? Whatever, totally charmed! Nikola Tamindzic documented this.