An Open Letter To The Beer Pong Trophy Kidnappers
mark · 05/01/07 01:15PMWe've been so overcome with worry ever since we learned that an anonymous fiend had kidnapped the Assistant Beer Pong Tournament trophy from under the noses of dozens of intoxicated revelers on Saturday night that we haven't been able to sleep, eat, or even drink ourselves into the typical stupor we use to cope with emotional trauma. Finally, however, we've been afforded a glimmer of hope that the trophy will find its way back to its rightful caretakers, as the event's organizers have issued this defiant (if Ransom-plagiarized) statement announcing their intention to turn the entire assistant underclass into a bloodthirsty legion of bounty hunters: