In 2011, the most awful scandal in the history of college athletics was exposed when it was revealed that Jerry Sandusky, a longtime coach at Penn State, had groomed and sexually abused teenage boys in the locker room of the school’s hallowed football stadium over a period decades, and that further the abuse had been covered up by university officials who deemed the sanctity of their football program to be paramount to any form of tangible justice for the victims.

Did you know that homosexuality is a gateway drug? "Gateway drug to what,?" you ask. Well, I'm not really sure, because I didn't attend Baylor University, which offers a whole course on the subject, or even major in Gateway Drug Studies.

Kentucky Senate candidate Rand Paul — the one who's scared of Meet the Press — had such an exciting college experience. Once, he kidnapped a lady and forced her to take "bong hits" and worship a water god. Kids!