[Cameron Diaz wonders if anyone will notice if she gives Tom Cruise a shove off the top of the Gothic Palace in Seville, Spain, which they toured on Saturday. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Derek Jeter: planning on sexing Minka Kelly in all 62 rooms of St. Jetersburg. Sandra Bullock's new look: chola. Anna Wintour: apartment shopping for spawn. Diddy and Jay-Z: alone with caviar? Alec Baldwin: apocalyptic. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Jennifer Aniston takes Morocco by....storm? She's dating (or not dating) a camel. Posh Spice has bunions. Jake Gyllenhaal is special. Courtney Love's greatest hookup ever. Thanksgiving Dinner at the Waverly Inn. LiLo being LiLo. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

RobPatz and K-Stew are doing it, a lot, instead of promotions. Jay-Z doesn't want to piss off Beyonce. Christie Brinkley: psycho. Diddy: birthday boy. Marv Albert Vs. 50 Cent? Fight of the year! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Kind of like a Harry Potter book, right? Michael Lohan's now Jon Gosselin's contracts expert. Nothing but squares at the Daily News. Robert Pattinson hates his life. Carrie Prejean: monumentally stupider than previously imagined. Here's your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

OK, we get it—Sienna Miller walks her dog. Does that mean you have to take her picture doing it every god damn day? No! And this isn't the only snap we see ad infinitum. Make it stop!

Lindsay Lohan is cracked out and running out of places! Or something. We're not sure what Harry Potter is smoking but it's awesome. Carrie Prejean has more sex on camera. Jon Gosselin, Exortionists: Dicknoses. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

[Levi Johnston (second from left) seems unimpressed with his company—Jon Gosselin and co-hosts Lara Spencer and Chris Jacobs—when filming a guest spot on The Insider yesterday in Times Square. Image via Bauer-Griffin>]

[Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump pick up some essentials (are those diapers next to Ivanka?!) at K Mart in Union Square yesterday. Image via Bauer-Grifin]

Michael Lohan wants to outdo the Nixon Tapes by slinging audio of calls with Dina and Lilo. Carrie Prejean's mom saw her sex tape. Chris Brown, Jon Gosselin, Anna Wintour, TMZ, Homie D. Clown. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup.

Joe Jackson: dick, obviously. That Slumdog Millionaire kid, the theory: huge wang. Levi Johnston: famously awaited dong. Jon Gosselin, dickfore. King Bloomberg? You tell me. Paula Abdul, Fergie, Josh Duhamel, Adam Duritz, DMX. Presenting your Dicktacular Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.

[Hugh Jackman takes a ride on the twisty slide while playing with his kids at a West Village playground yesterday. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Lindsay and Dina Lohan are pissed. Stephen Marbury: pussy. Nic Cage: broke. Carly Simon wants to know where the Doritos are. Jon Gosselin has "mantrums." Happy Hangover Day. I can't feel my face. Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Celebrities deal with all kinds of ghouls: fans, paparazzi, tabloid media (Hi!), D-Listers, agents, etc. But the spookiest? Stalkers. Certifiable crazies who can't get enough of you. Literally. Everyone's got one lately: JT, Ryan Seacrest, Miley Cyrus, and...Bret Easton Ellis?

And you think your parents are bad? This Is It comes out this weekend. To celebrate, Joe Jackson isn't remembering his son's life. He's telling Extra that Michael Jackson's worth more dead than he is alive.

Wow. Do we have a special one today. Jon Gosselin, seeking help from a rabbi. Alex Rodriguez thinks he's a centaur. Jessica Simpson's man requirements. Lady Gaga's ballet. RobPatz's marriage prospects. Presenting your epic Halloween Morning Gossip Roundup. Get scared:

[Bill Clinton has some sound advice for a young Italian man outside of his hotel in Milan today. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Lindsay Lohan's career brings out the worst in Jewish Mother impulses. Brad Pitt busts himself up on a motorcycle, LADIES. The Rock shows true colors: stone cold asshole. Sienna Miller, Roman Polanski, Morrissey, Musicals: presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Jon and Kate Gosselin are basically the worst people in the history of TV. Pennsylvania pride! Scott Weiland's wife: a crazy-awesome smack addict. Kanyeezy's community serveezy. J-Lo's Lola gives me facehurt. Weirdos! Celebrities! Whatever! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

[Sorry, Hilary Duff, we can't tell you why you're wearing that outfit either. It must have something to do with your movie The Business of Falling in Love currently filming in New York. Image via Bauer-Griffin]