Every summer the Hamptons plays host to any number of absurd feuds between extremely moneyed and extremely territorial neighbors. Christopher Clark, heir to the W.G. Clark Construction Co. fortune, inaugurated the bickering season on Saturday when he called the East Hampton Village Police to complain about all the cars illegally parked outside the mansion of his neighbor, Jana Partners hedge-funder and Forbes 400 listee Barry Rosenstein, who was throwing a birthday party for his 9 year-old daughter. After the po-po showed up, party attendees including Allure editor Linda Wells and designer Nicole Miller had to rush to re-park their cars in the Rosensteins' driveway so they wouldn't be ticketed. Adman Jerry Della Femina had a supporting role in this farce, too, because Crane's wife, Samantha, called the cops on him the night of the parking incident because his son was having an overly rowdy party. So the final tally for the evening: two calls to the cops, three sets of livid neighbors, untold numbers of modestly inconvenienced party guests, and zero offenses legitimately worthy of indignation or police intervention.