• Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton stop disappointingly short of bitchslapping one another on Friday night. Don't worry — soon enough, they'll destroy one another and turn to white dust. [TMZ]
• Barbra Streisand and James Brolin actually talk their way into getting free movie tickets. Even more offensive, they were for M:I:3. [Lowdown]
• NBC's new line-up looks dismal; as punishment for the continued suckage, entertainment chief Kevin Reilly will likely take the fall over Jeff Zucker. That's what you get for not converting. [Page Six]
• Director Brian Grazer is a fan of what some call mantling: placing a framed picture of yourself amongst your hosts' other pictures. [R&M]
• Madonna is spotted in LA without her wedding ring, fueling more speculation about the state of her marriage with Guy Ritchie. Nothing that couldn't be fixed with a romantic hot tub full of Kabbalah water. [Scoop]
• Ja Rule's posse is so dedicated, they'll even slap his bitches for him. [Page Six]

• A UK court rules that it's OK to publicly confirm that Kevin Costner is the actor accused of exposing himself to a masseuse at St. Andrew's. Welcome out of the closet, buddy — hope you enjoyed what was left of your career, 'cause that shit's over. Er, more over than it was before today. [Times UK]
• At the Learning Annex, the founder of Jossip.com, David Hauslaib, will reveal all the secrets of professional blogging. But will he reveal how to get into Daily News gossip hottie Ben Widdicombe's pants? [Learning Annex]
• Oh poor, poor Bee Shaffer! The daughter of Vogue EIC Anna Wintour will have her Costume Institute ballgown "molded" to her body by Karl Lagerfeld. Oh, the unbearable burden of being a spoiled glamourpuss. [NY Sun]
• Project Runway 3 will debut this summer, meaning that the designers are rumored to show at fall Fashion Week. [Reality Blurred]
• Donald Trump takes his brand to Philly for some new casinos. He also brings along some poor planning, considering the Nicetown residents would rather have a grocery store. [Philadelphia Magazine]
• We really, really hope that Barbra Streisand was put in her place for wearing stretch pants. She should know better. [NE]

And oh, how the Gays shall celebrate:

• Test audiences want Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn together so badly, producers are reshooting The Break Up so that the two leads don't, er, break up. [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas pulls the denial card, insisting that his disparaging remarks in GQ about Brangelina were misquotes. Or maybe he's just scared of their beautiful wrath. [R&M]
• Hey, remember Jennifer Lopez? Us neither. But she's suing her ex-husband, who's writing a tell-all of their marriage after she refused to pony up $5 million for his silence. Jesus — is it shakedown month around here or something? [Page Six]
• The estranged wife of right-wing billionaire Richard Mellon Scaife goes Naomi on his staff, assaulting his housekeeper, security chief, and "cancer-ridden" secretary. [Lowdown]
• Barbra Streisand refuses to appear on the series finale of Will & Grace, suggesting that Babs has no clue who constitutes her fanbase. [IMDb]

Perhaps as fed up with the ridiculous success of Meet the Fockers as the rest of us, the WeHo crowd has their claws out for Babs. A spy relates the chatter: