Pop megastar and recovering racist Justin Bieber was reportedly baptized—in a bathtub. TMZ is reporting that Bieber underwent "intense" Bible study with Pastor Carl Lentz over the course of the last few weeks, all of which concluded with the singer getting baptized in New York City. Despite wanting to keep the ceremony hush hush, Bieber's cover kept getting blown every time he visited a church, so he ultimately decided to take a dip in a friend's bathtub.

Verily I say unto thee: There's no better way to express the love and saving grace of Jesus Christ and the God who sent Him than to hire Sarah Palin to use baptism as a metaphor for torturing "jihadis" before a cheering crowd of nuts at a National Rifle Association rally.