A Colorado man faces charges of felony menacing after police say he pointed a banana at officers, causing them to believe they were in "imminent danger" from "a deadly weapon," the NY Daily News reports.

Imagine driving down the street on a lovely Saturday afternoon when you look over and there, standing on the side of the road, is a man dressed as a banana, holding an AK-47 with a 50-round magazine attached.

Chiquita Brands International, giver of bananas and well-known supporter of Colombian death squads, is trying to get a federal appeals court to block a lawsuit brought against it by the families victimized by their paid mercenaries. And they might just get away with it.

The Velvet Underground and the Andy Warhol Foundation just settled a lawsuit over a banana, in a debate that probably could have been best solved in some warehouse forty years ago.

While Beyonce was announcing her pregnancy last night, little sister and hipster foil Solange Knowles was in a surrealist, possibly racist brawl with the Miami Beach police force. It all started when Solange tried to carry a five-foot inflatable banana into a nightclub.

You just love eating bananas from the supermarket, right? Well, you better get your fill because a fungal infection is threatening to wipe out the yellow fruit that we all take for granted.

A five-inch Brazilian Wandering Spider—the most venomous spider in the world, which "can also cause priapism in humans"—stowed away in a box of bananas and leaped out in a German grocery store, running through the aisles and causing pandemonium on Friday.

Attention, residents of Strongville, Ohio! A possibly-violent banana (-costumed person) is on the loose, having assaulted a man wearing a gorilla costume outside a cell phone store. "I noticed a kid in the bushes. Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla," manager Brandon Parham, told WJW-TV. "He just looked like a Spartan from that movie 300, except he was a banana." How does such a thing happen? Who is responsible? When will WJW reporter Melissa Reid get an award for this sentence: "Police say the person dressed up as a banana split and headed south on Pearl Road"? We may never know. Police, we are told, "believe it was a prank." [WJW-TV]

About a year ago, we introduced you to a divo-in-training named Timmy via a video of him—flanked by some fierce PJs—performing Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" with a banana mic (relive the magic). Guess what: he's baaaack! *Snaps*

On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen asked the question that's been plaguing banana eaters for centuries: "How do I get into this thing?" His answer? Pull a Gallagher and smash it open with hammer.

Helmet brains! Weird veneers! Teen pregnancy! Teen car crashes! Impotent fish oil! Blue Collar Yoga! Banana machines! Alzheimer's ladies! Laser faces! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—and it only hurts a little bit!

Meet Cooper! Cooper is a cat. Cooper likes bananas. And, while the whole cat-eating-fruit thing has been done before (and better, IMO) by Rich Juzwiak/Winston, here's a cute video of Cooper eating a banana while dressed as a banana split.

Poor Ken Bannister: He owns a collection of 17,000 "banana-themed artifacts." That alone is enough to earn our pity. But now the museum he started to house them is being shut down. Let's meet this sad banana man.