If you are a human who has successfully survived past the age of 30, chances are you've experienced lower back pain, a condition brought on by excessive sitting, standing, inactivity, or moving. A new study says: there is no relief.

National treasure Dolly Parton, who only recently acted as unwitting guardian angel to a seemingly hopeless American Idol contestant, has postponed her upcoming tour for back trouble caused by years of supporting her trademark rack. It's perhaps a slightly risqué topic for a family wire service like Reuters, but we think their headline tackles the material with just the right amount of tact. The breasts had no comment.