The Friday Night Lights movie may never happen, but tonight Aziz Ansari wrote the second-best thing — Friday Night Lights: The Super Bowl Edition.

How much would you pay Aziz Ansari to write you a book about modern love and the woes of seeing your crush post a photo of their snacks on Instagram rather than reply to your texts? $3.5 million ($3,500,000)? Sounds about right!

Are you a fan of Parks and Recreation? Do you hate cancer? If so, then you'll dig this clever new PSA from DoSomething.org, which stars Aziz Ansari and Chris Pratt urging people to "Give a Spit" about blood cancer (and hopefully save a life in the process). So go spit all over them! I mean, if you're into that sort of thing. [via YouTube]

Last night Time magazine had their big fancy shindig for its "100 Most Influential" list and many of the anointed showed up to Jazz at Lincoln Center to be rich, famous, and beautiful together.

Our invitation must have been lost in the mail, but we did send fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern to ask everyone some questions. No one responded to her querulous queries, but we have to print something, so here is what she asked everyone.

Despite his role on the beloved Parks and Recreation and having a booming stand up career, Aziz Ansari is desperate to get hired. Also, did you recognize him as the Asian girlfriend in The Social Network?

Aziz was lucky enough to ring in 2011 with Jay-Z, Beyoncé and other famous folk in Vegas. His luck changed when Jay-Z called him onto the stage at 4am in an inebriated state to tell a "New Year's joke."

Today at Gawker.TV, Cameron Diaz bought her weed from Snoop Dogg in high school, Aziz Ansari gives Parks & Recreation new credits, Modern Family's "zesty sex," and Olivia Munn beats Kathie Lee and Hoda at their own (drinking) game.

Aziz' parenting advice is along the lines of watching seasons 1-5 of The Wire, exuding confidence, wearing a tux, not getting fat, and drinking Jameson on the rocks because "all the cool kids start drinking first."

Aziz Ansari loves his cousin, but sometimes Harris just has some really odd choices in entertainment. I mean, seriously? Who watches Las Vegas?

When thinking about American excess, one's mind generally bends towards McDonald's, but Aziz Ansari's mind goes to ice cream, specifically Coldstone Creamery.

Watching this sketch is a sad reminder that a third season of Human Giant is nothing more than wishful thinking. At least we're able to get our Aziz Ansari fix by watching Parks and Rec.

This is a plan that a studio is hatching. Also today: a new hidden camera show promises to delight, Aziz Ansari gets a hosting gig, the volcano continues to define our lives, and Cybil Shepherd would like to wax you.

A typical Aziz Ansari talk-show appearance almost always contains the following three parts: 1) Discussion of his sitcom Parks and Recreation, 2) mention of his stand up comedy career and 3) jokes about his cousins Harris and Darwish.

Recently, a few intrepid reporters from Gawker.TV wandered into that strange fauxhemian Shangri-La known as Brooklyn and what did our eyes behold? Coonskin caps on everyone – men and women, young and old!

She's baaaaack. Plus: Christian Slater keeps on keepin' on, Starz continues its campaign for respect, the MTV Movie Awards find a funny host, and lots of casting news.

Here's Human Giant's take on the on the never-ending news reports on methamphetamine that have plagued TV screens over the past few years. We get it, Meth's an epidemic, geez.

Last night, Pawnee's close-knit coworkers struggled with their deepest desires. While Leslie pined for the validation of a women's group award given to Ron, Andy and Tom were tantalized by their own life goals: independence and a fly club, respectively.

The Human Giant guys pull off a solid cop drama parody and mock characater artists in the process. If a characater artist were to draw the villain of this sketch, would he look like a normal human being?

Thank you, Human Giant, for inviting Linda Cardellini into your peculiar world. Linda is probably best known for her role as Lindsey Weir on the Apatow boot camp known as Freaks and Geeks.

The Parks and Recreation staff helped with Tom's move, the aftermath of his Green Card marriage's dissolution, and met the first stereophonic vacuum. The world, however, was not ready; DJ Roomba soon fell, senselessly murdered while spreading his joyous tidiness.