It's not easy to steal the title of Alaska's Worst Person for obvious reasons, but on Sunday, 32-year-old Byron Edward Syvinski of Anchorage did. He allegedly tried to mug a 17-year-old boy (and punched the kid's father), before rampaging down the street:

This is just what the world needs now: A deadly, never before seen "mutant" strain of E. coli. That's exactly what the World Health Organization says is responsible for killing 17 people in Germany this week. Of the 1,500 people who are sick with the strain being attributed to cucumbers, 470 "have developed a rare kidney failure complication." A WHO food expert, Hilde Kruse, told MSNBC that this new strain shows "various characteristics that make it more virulent and toxin-producing" than regular old deadly E. coli. Oh, boy.

A model and a dancer fell from a hotel window in Atlanta while "play-fighting," leaving one dead and one in critical condition at the hospital. LaShawna Threatt (pictured), a 30-year-old model and party promotor, and Ciara Williams, a dancer, were wrestling with each other in a room at the W hotel in midtown Atlanta following Threatt's birthday party when they apparently broke through a window and fell. Threatt landed on the roof of a structure below, dying immediately, while Williams fell another 20 feet, and remains in the hospital in critical condition. Police believe it was an accident. [AJC]

Tornadoes in Joplin, Missouri, have killed at least 30 people, and perhaps far more. A coroner told Reuters: "We have heard up into the over-100 (range), but ... I don't think anyone has a good count right now."

Remember the South Korean taxi driver who was found crucified — wearing only a crown of thorns and underwear, with a stab wound to his abdomen — in a quarry two weeks ago? Police say he crucified and killed himself without any help. Gruesome details from the AP:

Think of a truly horrendous way to die, and then think about this: A South Korean taxi driver who was said to have had "fanatical religious views" was found dead in a quarry, nailed to a cross and wearing a crown of thorns, with a stab wound in his side and whip marks. A police officer told AFP, "We found at the scene pieces of paper describing how to construct a cross and carry out a crucifixion." They also found a mirror placed so the man could see himself on the cross. Damn.

The death toll from the storms and tornadoes that tore across the south yesterday has risen, with the governor of Alabama today saying that 128 people are confirmed dead there. Dozens more across the region have died.

College student Dillon Pearce probably did not set out to be a jerk of almost cosmic proportions when he head to McDonald's on Monday. And yet, according to police, he ended up intentionally running over four ducklings. In his Hummer.

Happy Monday morning, everyone. Remember that huge mass grave of murder victims found in Mexico this month? Yes, well. It's up to 177 bodies now. And, believe it or not, its mere existence is not the worst part.

Texas twins Edward and Edwin Berndt, both 48, have been arrested and charged with murder after cops discovered their mother's corpse on the floor of the home the three shared.

Several U.N. workers were killed Friday in the northern Afghan city of Mazar-i-Sharif. Reports indicate that a demonstration against the burning of a Quran by American pastors turned violent. There are conflicting reports about the number of people killed, and a U.N. spokesperson has issued a statement confirming the attack, while calling the incident "still confusing."

A group of seven state IT workers in Albany, playing in their regular office lottery pool, hit the recent $319 million Mega Millions jackpot. And then there was the eighth guy. The one who usually played, but...just had a feeling about this one. According to the NY Post:

Having one serial killer in your neighborhood is bad enough. But East Cleveland, Ohio (pop: 27,217) may have had two, after police reopened 75 cold cases: "What we didn't expect to find was another serial murderer."

Today's region-wide protests got off to a tragic start when Yemeni security forces fired rockets at anti-government protesters in the country's north, killing four.

Jesus Christ: According to the final word in trendwatching, the New York Times Style section, those god damn hats with animal faces and animal ears on them that make the wearer appear to be a mentally feeble four year-old girl "are a trend that shows no sign of going away."

Christopher Michael Carroll sped 35 miles down a northern California highway, reaching 100mph—all with his wife clinging to the hood. From the AP:

Click to viewAn attempted drug raid in Philadelphia ended badly on Wednesday night when a police officer entered the wrong home and shot and killed a dog that had bitten him on the ankle. It's hard to blame the officer for shooting an attacking dog (or the dog for attacking an intruder), but one would hope that when armed police are executing raids they could at least get the address right. [NBC10; video below]

Italy's foreign minister, Franco Frattini told reporters today that, "We have no complete information about the number of people that have died [in Libya]. We believe that the estimates of about 1,000 are credible."

It's okay for college kids, or white kids, or even rich and famous kids to like rap; or even to rap themselves, if they happen to be blessed with that particular talent. But it's not okay for rich famous white college kids to butcher rap music, for laffs (on purpose, or unintentionally). Not any more, at least. Maybe it was funny the first time someone tried it, oh so many years ago? We doubt it. But maybe. Now, though... we present you with Pussy Breath.

Today's most sickening news story: onetime karate instructor Patrick Gonzalez was sentenced to death today, after being found guilty of "leading a group of men dressed like ninjas" into a Florida couple's home and killing them as their nine adopted children—all with special needs, like autism—slept or looked on in horror. The killers reportedly thought that the couple was hiding millions of dollars in their house. "The men took an unopened safe from the home that contained nothing of value, but a second safe that wasn't stolen had $164,000 in cash, court records show." [AP, photo via AP]