· Unknown actress Gemma Arterton has been anointed as the newest Bond girl, with her agent confirming her "nice-sized role" in Bond 22, though it's still unclear whether her part will fall into the "superspy sexual conquest" or "extremely attractive, but sexually unavailable, Mi6 functionary" categories of 007-supporting females [THR]
· Members of the British Academy of Film and Television Arts are (preliminarily, at least) head-over-heels in blighty* love for Atonement, listing the Joe Wright adaptation 17 times in their awards longlist (a mere 15 options per category!) for the BAFTAS, an announcement that mostly serves to let the public know which movies have been pre-snubbed for their eventual nominations. [*We only put that in for the benefit of our readers who are driven insane by Varspeak.] [Variety]

· Well, at least we know where Mike Huckabee stands on the Jamie Lynn Spears issue. To the rest of the candidates: We're waiting.
· After taking the whole family to see The Water Horse, Angelina Jolie is now intent on adopting one of the adorable baby Nessies to add to her ever-growing, multicultural brood.
· How one laid off below-the-line staffer learned to stop worrying and love the strike.
· Now you have no excuse for driving on New Year's Eve (unless you plan on spending it anywhere on the Westside): "All Metro Rail lines will run all night, every 20 minutes."
· The Oscar ballots are officially in the USPS's hands now: God be with them, and may they never end up in the dead-letter office Santa's P.O. Box.
· Now, thanks to the internet, you can stare indecisively at the contents of other people's fridges from around the world.

· The looming threat of a strike-induced cancellation of the Golden Globes ceremony has thrown the party-planning world into chaos: How can anyone commit half a million bucks to fill a venue with chocolate fountains, imposing mounds of peeled shrimp, and ice sculptures of prohibitive best actor favorite Daniel Day Lewis when there's a chance the whole night might be called off? [Variety]
· The WGA has granted a waiver for the Independent Spirit Awards (to be hosted by Guild member Rainn Wilson), freeing the show's organizers from the stomach-churning stress being suffered by their writerless Globes counterparts. [THR]

Despite the flaccid-sounding acronym, there's nothing namby-pamby about the SAG awards—the greatest honor Hollywood's thespians can bestow upon each other (besides, of course, the Oscars, the Backstage Westies, and the Craigslist Jobs: TV/Film/Video Awards). Jeanne Tripplehorn and Terrence Howard announced this year's nominees early this morning to an enraptured crowd of before-hours cleaning crew and building security at the Pacific Design Center:

It seems the WGA strike has claimed its first awards season victim: according to a press release from Extra, the ceremony for The People's Choice Awards has been canceled; confusingly, "some form" of the event involving no red carpet and no media is still scheduled to air on January 8th, as CBS is apparently determined to fulfill its sacred duty as custodians of the public's statuette-granting will whether or not there's an actual "show" to broadcast. (Or picket.) We're told to stay tuned for more updates on what this all means, but our attention span on this matter has already been taxed to the limit by wondering how host Queen Latifah might be integrated into the modified proceedings in a way that doesn't tragically squander her talents. [ExtraTV.com]

· The Writers Guild has decided to picket the Golden Globes, a move that may make the decision to skip the ceremony easier for conflicted members of SAG. However, the possibility is raised that WGA protestors could be set up far enough away from the Beverly Hilton's entrance that actors who decide to attend could be spared the shame of physically crossing a picket line. [Variety]
· Meanwhile, organizers for the Globes scramble to figure out how to put on a show without writers, while talent awaits official word on whether or not they should cancel their table reservations in solidarity—a "topic so sensitive that a number of publicists — including Alan Nierob, who reps Mel Gibson and Steve Martin — wouldn't even comment about why their clients weren't commenting." [THR]

People.com's always-discriminating readers have spoken: Britney Spears, the serially troubled onetime pop-star whose head-shaving, custody-forfeiting, meth-addled-stripper-gone-to-seed-imitating misadventures have kept the shark-infested tabloid waters well-chummed for an entire calendar year, is the proud recipient of the website's coveted 2007 Bestie Award for Most Talked About Star. In what we'll assume was a landslide, Spears topped Angelina Jolie, who, much to her detriment in this particular race, did not lose possession of even one of the estimated fifteen orphans she collected during her Third World travels on behalf of the United Nations.

Already plagued by questions about which honorees might be willing to cross the WGA picket line to collect their gilded tokens of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's inscrutable esteem, the producers of the Golden Globes learned late yesterday that the Guild had turned down a waiver request to allow WGA writers to toil on their show, a move that will force their telecast to rely on the booze-fueled improvisations of its presenters to an even greater degree than usual. (This year, on-air talent will be compelled to drain half a bottle of cheap tequila—purely a voluntary option at past ceremonies—before they're allowed to exit the green room and take their wobbly place behind the podium. A vomit receptacle will be made available for those whose dangerously low body weights hamper their ability to hold down quickly imbibed quantities of alcohol.)

Autograph magazine, which actually exists, has just released their annual ranking of the best and worst in celebrity acquiesence to demands to scribble on a napkin outside of a Starbucks bathroom. Topping the list is Johnny Depp, whom, should he ever win the Best Actor Oscar, will have both the most and least prestigious accolades this industry has to offer under his belt:

· Bad news for those who were aching with anticipation over Tom Cruise's turn as the cutest little would-be Hitler-killer in all the German army: United Artists and MGM are pushing Valkyrie's release date back from the Fourth of July holiday weekend until October. The official reason cited for the move is the need to find a new location for a pivotal, still-unshot battle scene, not a desire for the skittish studio to get the film as far away from summer blockbuster competition as possible. [Variety]
· Live Free or Die Hard, National Treasure: Book of Secrets and Evan Almighty keep their miniscule Oscar hopes alive by making the shortlist for the Academy's visual effects award. [THR]

The fun-dampening writers strike has even managed to infiltrate one of Hollywood's most joyous activities—canvassing awards show nominees for their reactions. Gone is the balls-to-the-wind ebullience of past years, with actors hastily pledging to drop to their knees and service every member of their publicity and management teams in gratitude. Instead, any expression of happiness is instantly snuffed by buzz-killing follow-up question, "I see. And will you be attending?" Some are flatly refusing in deference to the Guild, some plan on following the herd, and some—we're looking at you, Borgnine—will let no chicken-armed red-shirts stand between them and a shot at some shiny gold hardware and an open bar. A sample of what they are saying:

Early this morning, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the shadowy kudos-proferring concern that curates Tinseltown's Drunkest Night, enlisted the help of motormouth auteur Quentin Tarantino, indestructible cheerleader Hayden Pannetiere, and frequently shirtless, occasionally fat-suited Van Wilder star Ryan Reynolds in announcing this year's Golden Globes nominations, a list of honorees that will be futilely scoured for clues as to the eventual composition of the Academy Awards shortlist.

· Golden Globes producers await a decision on whether or not the WGA will grant their (probably doomed) waiver request to allow striking writers to whip them up a script, a wish that they've already granted for their supportive bretheren in SAG's upcoming awards show. Meanwhile, the industry wonders who'll be willing to cross the picket line to attend the Globes ceremony. [Variety]
· Fox pushes back Avatar, director James Cameron's much-anticipated return to theaters, from Memorial Day 2009 to December 18th, then spackles that mid-year holiday weekend hole with Ben Stiller's Night a the Museum sequel. [THR]

· Sean Penn's Into the Wild leads the Broadcast Critics Association awards nominations with seven nods, including best picture, director, actor, and writer. Meanwhile, the contrarian critics of San Francisco name Brad Pitt's little-seen outlaw-tone-poem The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford their best of the year. [Variety, Variety · ABC pulls last three episodes of Big Shots from the air despite its rapidly expiring supply of fresh scripted programming, handing its cushy, post-Grey's Anatomy timeslot to repeats of Private Practice. [THR]

Rejoice, for year-end accolades season is upon us: Like the National Board of Review, the New York Film Critics Circle awarded No Country For Old Men their best picture honors, with Daniel Day-Lewis and Javier Bardem both taking Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor Who Virtually Disappeared Into the Part of an Inscrutable Psychopath Whom You Have to Admit Was Pretty Damn Good At His Job, respectively.

Is Variety secretly trying to destroy Cate Blanchett's Oscar chances? In an illustration for a strange satirical piece that connects films from 2007 with tenuously related tabloid stories, they've disturbingly grafted Blanchett's Elizabeth: The Golden Age head onto Britney Spears' spangled-underthings-clad, MTV VMAs-era form, creating a pop-star/monarch abomination that will surely haunt the dreams of any Academy voter unlucky enough to flip to page B3.

Our complete and utter disinterest in the Grammys has become something of a Defamer tradition, with the mainstream music industry's most celebratory night of public self-diddling requiring of us zero emotional investment, thus greatly reducing the risks being forced to launch a mug of Kahlua at our TV sets after a particularly unjust upset. The Dixie Chicks are the best band on the planet? Sure, why not. That said, the 2008 nominees have been announced:

Pow! That's the sound of a pneumatic cattle bolt flying into our awards-crazy melons, officially marking the start of Oscar Season: The National Board of Review has named No Country for Old Men their best film of 2007. Other big wins: George Clooney for best actor in Michael Clayton, Tim Burton for best director for Sweeney Todd, and Emile Hirsch and Ellen Page won breakthrough performances for Into the Wild and Juno, respectively. [Reuters]

In a possible sign that onetime international superstar Tom Cruise's unnervingly sunny smile might finally be thawing the frosty hearts of a Scientology-suspicious German society that has callously refused his generous offer to build a 50-foot-tall statue of L. Ron Hubbard in the center of Berlin, the actor was today presented with a prestigious Bambi "Courage" award, a recognition our cursory internet research reveals may be one the highest honors handed out by Teutonic publishing concern Hubert Burda Media.

· A brave Carson Daly will be the first late-night talk show host to cross the picket line and attempt to return to work without a writing staff; upon his arrival at the studio, Daly will be awkwardly reminded by a security guard that his show was canceled two years ago. [THR]
· I'm Not There, expected to duke it out in every Oscar category you got with similarly ambitious music biopic Walk Hard, leads the Independent Spirit Award nominations with four. Angelina Jolie flop A Mighty Heart and Ang Lee's artsy, NC-17 fuckfest Lust, Caution received three nods each. [Variety]