Calcifying Hollywood icon Warren Beatty, the legendary playboy auteur famous for having created some of the most lauded and influential films of all time (as well as having slept with approximately 48,000 aspiring actresses between the years of 1967 and 1979), received a lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute at a gala reception held at the Kodak Theatre last night. Here's a round-up of the goings on:
· Jane Fonda, Dustin Hoffman, Diane Keaton, Quentin Tarantino, and Steven Spielberg were among those in attendance. Jack Nicholson showed up a little late, looking crestfallen behind his sungalasses as he congratulated Beatty on winning "eight times as many awards as he's made pictures." [ABC/AP]
· Beatty was upstaged by another "aging ladies man and charismatic charmer," Bill Clinton, who surprised the crowd midway through the tribute with a recollection of the time at the 1972 DNC, when he shyly asked Beatty to walk "100 yards on the beach" with a woman to win her vote. Not only did Beatty comply, he brought her all the 100 yards back first thing next morning. [USA Today]

The Primetime Emmy nominations will be announced next month, and the "For Your Consideration..." ads are in full beg mode. Will William Shatner and James Spader get their 110th nominations? And what of Kelsey Grammer, late of the sorta-okay-but-canceled Back to You? Will Sideshow Bob become one of lady Emmy's most winningest? Magazines like Entertainment Weekly have already run articles listing their ideal Emmy nominees, so we thought we'd follow suit. How about some love for The Paper? And what of the criminally (heh) overlooked The Wire? After the jump find some (maybe out-there) suggestions for each of the Big 10 categories.

The question that has kept an anxious nation on tenterhooks for the last two days—"Did stoner movie star Seth Rogen light up a real spliff on stage at the MTV Movie Awards last weekend?"—has finally been resolved. According to the AP, the stunt was a big fake; but they also say that Rogen and Pineapple Express costar James Franco weren't supposed to do it at all! Is anyone here telling the truth? Such a web of deception!

The advertising industry's annual self-congratulation festival, the Clio Awards, just wrapped up in Miami. The superbrilliant "Grand Clio" award for integrated campaigns went to a series of ads for Shreddies, a cereal in Canada. The grand idea? They turned the square Shreddies 45 degrees, called them "Diamond Shreddies," then filmed focus groups of people ranking the "new" product. Heh. I can dig it! If you're going to try to sell the same old cereal, at least acknowledge that the entire affair is a big farce. Below, two clips from the campaign. And a rant from one clever YouTube user (of many) who picked up on a scandal: Diamond Shreddies are the same as regular Shreddies!!!

Energetic American Apparel CEO Dov Charney was named "Retailer of the Year" last week, and the anonymous American Apparel ad spoofer jumped right on it. Copyranter found this new poster of Dov holding up what should have been his award: a dildo. Way to stay tied in to the news cycle, spoofer. Larger picture after the jump.

Pervy pacing madman and American Apparel CEO Dov Charney was named "Retailer of the Year" at the annual Michael Awards, which are the self-described "Oscars of Fashion." The company was cited for its "progressive business practices and provocative advertising
campaigns." Like this one! The Michael Awards are a benefit for medical disorders, which is very appropriate.

When I saw a tall, dark-haired, model-esque woman sliding through the pre-awards crowd at the National Magazine Awards in the Rose Ballroom on 60th St. last night, my canny journalistic sixth sense kicked in. "She sure doesn't look like a magazine writer," I thought. Later, she strode out on stage during the awards ceremony. It was Padma Lakshmi, supermodel. "Fiction. It can...raise fire in the loins," she purred. Half of the audience shifted in their seats. "The sharpest weapon an editor has at her disposal is her pen. (Pause). Or her tongue." It really drove home the primary question in everyone's minds: Isn't this supposed to be, like, a magazine thing? What the fuck are all these famous people doing here? And Julia Allison? An attempted explanation, and some terrible, terrible cell phone pictures to sum up the night, after the jump.

Arguably the last Hollywood reach-around that still truly matters, it's hardly a surprise to see some of the world's biggest stars line up for their turn to get slimed at the Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards—a relatively minor price to pay to ingratiate yourself to a new generation of prepubescent fans, who'll come away viewing you not just as some relic steeped in old-man smell, but as certified lunchbox-adornment material.

Conan O'Brien was the lead guest on The Tonight Show last night, and he graciously left behind his tape measure and fabric swatches, while Jay Leno kept his passive aggressive put-downs of his scheduled usurper to a comfortable minimum. Among his entertaining anecdotes, Conan recalled the time he hosted the Emmys of two years ago—before Fox got their cracked-out claws into them, and transformed the ceremony into a one-ringed-circus presided over by Master of Women's-Footwear-Identifying-Ceremonies Ryan Seacrest. Describing the tense scene from the wings, Conan recalled an increasingly desperate stage manager giving a live play-by-play of the Charlie's Angels diva-feud that could very well have altered the course of Aaron Spelling Production cast reunion history forever.

· En fuego producer Rob Thomas sells his third pilot of the season, this one to ABC. (He already sold them Cupid, and sold The CW the 90210 spinoff.) Based on a Kiwi show, Outrageous Fortune follows "matriarch of a family of criminals [who] decides it is time for her brood to go straight when her husband ends up in the clink for five years." Your move, Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas! [THR]· FremantleMedia is bringing Family Feud to primetime for the first time in its 30 year history, where it will air along with American Gladiators on NBC's "For The Love of All That is Holy, Just Pick Up A Book Already" summer programming block. [Variety]
· Elizabeth "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Banks has been cast as the First Lady in Oliver Stone's Bush. Stop your snickering! [THR]

Until now, court shows went mostly unheralded by the TV producing establishment, despite their appellates delighting millions via the meting out of their own brand of sassy justice ladled with a generous helping of snappy catchphrases. But even in the realm of after-school, syndie-strip law, rights can be wronged, as organizers of the Daytime Emmys have just announced that court shows will finally be getting their own category:

As we predicted back in January, beautiful CNN anchor Anderson Cooper didn't show up for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Media Awards ceremony. He was nominated and won for a touching story on homeless gay teens. Broadcasting legend Barbara Walters did show up to receive what we are assuming was a lifetime achievement award for work as Roy Cohn's beard (or something).

Hispaniola-born Junot Díaz and Edwidge Danticat swept the National Book Critics Awards, winning for the The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and for Brother, I'm Dying. Díaz beat out real American writers like Joyce Carol Oates for the prize. But for serious, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao is one of the best books I've read in a long time, and you'd be a fool to let some perverse form of patriotism to stop you from enjoying it. [USA Today] Bonus recommendation: Junot Díaz's interview with Terri Gross nearly made me cry. No judgment!

While there were certainly no lack of internet destinations to service your Oscars liveblogging and post-morteming needs, none of those takes can really hold a candle to the punctuation- and sanity-free zone of Courtney Love's own MySpace wrap-up. We take you now directly to the Courtney Oscars Live Feed:

We were so busy typing our little fingers to the nub that we barely had a chance to really assess what we thought of last night's Oscars telecast. One thing is certain, however, and that was that host Jon Stewart had a far more successful go at hosting, virtually eradicating any memories of Night of a Thousand Sweatpants, and other clunkers from his 2006 effort. A round-up of what critics are saying:
· "So it was good to see Jon Stewart being Jon Stewart. He is shaping up to be a dependable Oscar host for the post-Billy Crystal years. He's not musical, but he's versatile enough to swing smoothly between jokes about politics, Hollywood, new media, and, most importantly, hair." [Boston Globe]

With fidgety stars corralled into the Kodak Theater for nearly four hours of Church of Hollywood sermonizing, it's no wonder that the Governor's Ball, the first and most stately of all the post-Oscars soirées, is invariably a successful event. It allows winners, also-rans, and Oscar-shaped agents alike to mingle in a fantasy-like setting, occasionally snapping retractable tongues far enough to catch a cherry-flavored bubble floating their way. (We're not even joking—watch that Making Of the Governor's Ball Desserts featurette, sure to be one of the highlights of the 2008 Oscars DVD extras.) The LAT was lucky enough to be seated at the Michael Clayton table, where Jelly Bean Clooney (not the swing-era jazz titan, but The Last Movie Star) was realistic about his poor showing:

Kevin O'Connell, the Susan Lucci of the sound-mixing set, is nominated for an Oscar yet again, this time for his work on Transformers. That makes 20 nominations, 0 wins. (7 more and Katherine Heigl plays him in the movie of his life! Rimshot.) Little Gold Men caught up with O'Connell, but judiciously failed to bring up the infamous Sound Mixer Smackdown from last year's Oscars, when his nemesis Michael Minkler, who shared the statue for his work on Dreamgirls, callously observed, "I think Kevin should go away with 19 nominations ... I have to wonder ... Kevin is an OK mixer, but he should take up another line of work." [VF Daily]

While we've attempted to handicap the Oscars acting races as best as we know how, we've failed to factor in one crucial angle: how yumcakes the male nominees look without a shirt on! Luckily, TheSword.com (site mildly NSFW) has come through, compiling A Shirtless Gallery of all the sexy thespians up for gold. It's a seemingly wonderful idea that takes a turn for the not-so-wonderful when they veer into Hoffman/Holbrook/Wilkinson territory.

With the party circuit looking more anemic than ever, leave it to the least likely culprits — Hepatitis-scare victims Madonna and Demi Moore — to throw a last-minute bash for the rudderless A-list masses looking for an Oscars night soirée. To be held at "a home in the Westside hills," the party will start Sunday around 9 p.m., featuring a guest list with "everybody on it. It gives the A-list Vanity Fair crowd someplace to go to. It will probably be pared down to where it's 85% talent, not a lot of suits." Security, of course, will be ultra-tight, with guests forced to undergo not only friskings and metal detectors, but also having their blood drawn and read by high-speed diagnostic computers. Anyone with so much as a slightly elevated LDL cholesterol level will be turned away at the doors. [Variety]

· The five Best Picture nominees have earned $97 million since they were announced, more than twice what last year's nominees made in the same time period. Expect a two-page trade ad from the Academy touting that sum in 248-pt. font over the words "BIGGEST. OSCAR. BUMP. EVER." [Variety]
· Former Hobbit Dominic Monaghan has been cast in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. He won't be subjected to further brutal spirit-gumming sessions, however, as he doesn't play a mini-Wolverine, but "a mysterious character...who has the ability to manipulate energy and electricity." Aw, we wanted a Wolverinezuki! [Variety]