Midway through Dave's monologue, a slew of dead birds fell from the sky. Of course, the birds were fake and likely tossed from above by a lowly Late Show page, but it's nice to see Letterman mock Earth's impending doom.

Last night on Conan, a lucky audience member became the topic of choice for every guest. Joel McHale mocked Jesse's choice of clothes in a cruel way, prompting Tim Gunn to stick up for him when he came onstage.

Certified crazy man David Tarloff was arrested yesterday for the UES psychologist cleaver murder. According to the Post, the doctor he killed was not even his target. He planned to rob another doctor, then escape to Hawaii with his 73-year-old mother Beatrice, for whom he was toting a suitcase full of women's clothes and adult diapers. The Post offers the disappointingly straightforward headline: "Madman Nabbed; Crazy Patient 'Revenge' In Shrink Slay." That Saturday night headline-writing shift really needs more coffee. Can YOU do better? Alternative headlines in the comments, please.

Dr. Kathryn Faughey, a psychotherapist, was slashed, stabbed, and hacked to death by "a psycho" wielding a meat cleaver and another knife in her UES office last night. Both knives were bent by the force of the attack. Another doc who came running to her aid was also slashed, but survived. The psycho escaped through the basement and is still free in the city. One possibly significant clue that we just dug up: Dr. Faughey said on her website that "Managing relationship problems with the internet is also a major focus" of her practice. Hmmmm. Like a stumped police chief laying a case down in front of Encyclopedia Brown, we ask you: What's the headline tomorrow in the Post?