This clip contains no sex, violence, nudity, or profanity, yet we still feel compelled to call it NSFW. After the attendant dominatrix whispers "spread your legs," the event quickly becomes something that can only be described with acronyms and emoticons.

In this clip from yesterday's Attack of the Show!, Morgan Webb takes a break from video games to remind us that ticket-avoidance technology has come a long way since that clunky Fuzzbuster your dad had in his Datsun Z.

G4's usually-slow-fingered censors caught this in my market, but they preserved the curse online. You might recognize Janet Montgomery from Entourage, but she'll be playing a larger, vegetable-oil-soaked role in the upcoming season of Human Target.

It's time for another edition of "Clips G4 Doesn't Want You To See," The Attack of the Show! segment this little embarrassing nugget of hilarity comes from is conspicuously absent from G4's official website. Video inside!

There is nothing cooler than a chick that can kick your butt, and we got to witness an interview with the assassin on Nikita. Watch as the tough beauty shows us she isn't afraid of some bumps and bruises.

Attack of the Show last night profiled two new "green" concept cars; the GM En-V, which looks like a bubbly deathtrap with unimpressive specs (only 24 miles on a charge?), and a group of students' Bridgestone F1-style 300 MPG roadster.

"There's a whole separate penis edit" is the answer to the question of the Chat Roulette promos that we've been asking. Eli Roth comes across as the "cool older brother" every first-time director dreams about finding in the film industry.

Since he was going on the G4 network, Children's Hospital's Rob Huebel thought he'd bring in his porn ravaged Xbox sporting the infamous "red ring". This clip is pretty gratuitous if you can't handle electronics abuse.

Yesterday's Attack of the Show! showed the world a wonderful new game. "Wee Wee Kitty" follows a cat who takes to a new form of weed-whacking. Kevin Pereira explains that a certain green appendage leads to success in this game.

Ah, the beauty of live television. During last night's Attack of the Show, hosts Kevin Pieria and Jessica Chobot begin joking about a name for Kevin's penis. Delayed use of the "bleeping button" caused quite the commotion. Video inside!

Attack of the Show's sit-down chats are usually populated with C-level celebrities and the semi-stars of genre television, but Kevin Pereira shocked the world on Monday by delivering an in-depth interview with directorial superstar James Cameron.

Eric Roberts, who plays ex-CIA agent James Munroe in The Expendables stopped by AOTS. He talked about the film and his stint on Celebrity Rehab. Apparently, if you're on dope you might find being on a soap opera quite difficult.

When you work your ass off and your co-worker takes credit, follow Dude Manrod's instructions to get revenge and ultimately be even more of a man. Always remember step 4: Lick the blade!

Yesterday, we brought you Anna Paquin discussing her snatch's patches, and here's the flip side. Marshall Allman joined Attack of the Show! Wednesday to discuss Tommy's shapeshifting, waking up in the forrest naked, and... Michael Vick?

If you like irresponsible fun with realistic firearms and tales of tasteful drawings of Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg engaged in lascivious activities, then this interview is for you.

Wednesday's Attack of the Show! revealed that the U.S. military is hard at work ensuring that these cuddly destroyers will be the harbingers of humanity's annihilation.

Kevin Pereira "stood up" with MTV's simian superstar on Monday's Attack of the Show! to discuss the existential quandaries associated with being a puppet. Will this appearance help convert some of Warren's innumerable BitTorrent downloads into TV ratings?

On Tuesday, Attack of the Show! featured a clip of an epically-choreographed goal celebration by an Icelandic soccer team has been making the rounds on YouTube. "Team Haislip" kicked it up a notch with a tribute that's just as bizarre.

Renowned journalist Anna David tackles tough questions like "Am I masturbating too much?" and "Why does my girlfriend cry after sex?" Honestly, you're either really awesome or really bad at what you do. Could be used for both questions.

G4TV sent former Playmate of the Year Sara Underwood to cover the Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot & Trade Show. The best part? She's so little that assistants have to hold her up to counteract each weapon's recoil.