You just found a bag filled with $150,000 in cash, mistakenly left behind by an ATM worker. What do you do? The answer, dear readers who work in law enforcement, is obvious—you turn it in. What do you definitely not do? What this guy did.

Police in Glasgow were alerted over the weekend to a broken Bank of Scotland ATM that was "mis-dispensing" free money to customers, only to find hundreds of people had also been alerted to the malfunction and were lining up around the block to get a piece of the action.

Dunkin Donuts may finally have found the edge it needs to cripple Starbucks and Krispy Kreme: Prostitutes. And also ATM hacking. Just the thing to pump up that stock!

With federal authorities cracking down on predatory debit cards and overdraft fees, consumer banks are "scrambling" to find new sources for revenue. The solution: $5 ATM fees, which allows them to rob non-customers, instead. Quoth the Wall Street Journal,

John Shepherd-Barron, the inventor of the cash machine, has died.

Entourage star Jeremy Piven had a shocking trip to his local bank on Tuesday afternoon. Apparently, the ATM declared that the Pivs had insufficient funds in his account and spit out his ATM card. Piven told the ATM that wasn't cool and quickly re-inserted his card into the machine. Yet as soon as Piven put the card back in, it came back out. Pivs was about to kick the ATM when a bank employee came outside and said, "Oh, hi! The ATM has been on the fritz, telling everybody that they have insufficient funds and junk like that. Sorry for the trouble!" Piven then adjusted his suit jacket and declared that he's seriously considering joining a credit union.