As you surely know, Time columnist and ex-Wonkette Ana (pronounced AH-na, by the way) Marie Cox exchanged choice words with "contributor to virtually every significant national publication in the US and many in Europe" Eric Alterman on the weekend of the White House Correspondents' dinner. Present and accounted for were two Observer reporters, one of whom actually reported on the conversation. Bitchiness ensued. Soon, Cox's husband, CQ editor Chris Lehmann, stepped in to defend his woman's honor; along the way, a new term, GawkerGate was coined. Now enjoy this video version of the transcript and its accompanying blog ephemera, starring Julia Allison as Eric Alterman, Catie Lazarus as Ana Marie Cox, and our own Joshua David Stein as Chris Lehmann. Shot and edited by the indefatigable Richard Blakeley.

Big news regarding the Most Important Intellectual Catfight Of Our Time Of This Week! Earlier, a glorious victory was declared by liberal punditron Eric Alterman in his dispute against Time's Ana Marie Cox, Gawker and the generals in charge of Guantanamo. Or something. We lost track of what he's pissed at a while ago. (Background! There was a party in D.C.—words were exchanged, various muddy accounts were published from each side, then a transcript emerged from the trusty New York Observer.) At one point yesterday Alterman used the phrase "GawkerGate," which was utterly hilarious. OMG, someone questioned our newspaperlikeness! We're weeping. Now Chris Lehmann, not at all incidentally a spouse of Ms. Cox, has chimed in with a really vicious unpacking of Alterman's speech acts, revisions, and various blusterings. It's a really sweet read for those who love supremely bitchy and over-the-top eviscerations. Which is all of us! Frenemies no more!

Meet Melanie Martinez, until recently the host PBS Kids Sprout's "The Good Night Show," a collection of stories and cartoons designed to ease the kiddies into slumberland. What came between Melanie and her role as toddler tour-guide? Oh, you know, just a couple parody commercials endorsing assfucking. Thanks to the folks at Celebrity Crunch, we can all enjoy the pro-buttlovin' P.S.A. below.