Trick question: which is accumulating faster atop Aspen’s fair ski mountains—legal weed or Bogner-clad assholes on skis? The answer, it turns out, is dog poop (but that will change come winter.)

Good news from today's Wall Street Journal: "The lowest-priced single-family home on the market in Aspen is listed for $559,000. It's located in a trailer park." The median single-family dwelling in Aspen costs $4.6 million. That's a higher price than the median single-family home in any other city in the nation.

Dan Sheridan is just a humble folk singer up there in Aspen, Colorado, who listened to his heart and sung a little tune talkin' about how the city folks come on into a place like Aspen with their fancy cars and fancy furs and big money and change things for the worse—maybe those folks just don't quite understand the magic of the mountains, which you can't buy with a big old pile of money, hmm? So of course the evil corporation that controls the venue where Sheridan was playing fucking fired him, because, hey, these are paying fucking customers here, what are you, crazy? Take that hippie shit out to the woods and play around a hippie bonfire or whatever, hippie.