Generations of Brady Bunch fans were shocked to learn of the Marcia/Jan lesbian teen romp rumors that set the internets ablaze on Friday, finding it difficult to envision Marcia combing the back of her mullet 100 times before engaging her sister in a vigorous tribbing session beneath a faded Billie Jean King poster. It promised to be the most unforgettable chapter of Here's the Story, Maureen McCormick's upcoming memoir—and one the publisher doesn't remember reading: