Eliot Spitzer, you fool. You could have been a contender! When Spitzer resigned as governor of New York in March, rather than standing and fighting like the stubborn-to-the-point-of-idiocy man that he is, he was ceding his political future to the vagaries of luck. And his luck is not good, obviously, or he would still be sneaking into hotel rooms with Ashley Alexandra Dupre. But what if he had hung on, boldly stood up for his imaginary right to patronize hookers, and stayed in office? He'd be headed to the US Senate in January. Think about it: if Spitzer had decided not to resign (as we advised at the time), he'd now be a scandal-ridden and likely ineffective governor. He would also, however, have the luck to be a high officeholder in New York now that Obama has been elected. Obama is very likely to name Hillary Clinton to a cabinet position. That will mean New York needs its governor to name a new Senator to fill her spot. If Spitzer were still the governor, who better to name than himself? The state Democrats would surely support it, just to be able to clear him the hell out so the party could move on to a slightly more scandal-free future. And nobody in Washington would really mind, because they all fuck whores there, at least metaphorically. So Spitzer could have put himself in Hillary's seat and installed David Paterson as governor, just as he is now. Spitzer's particular skill set—cracking down on corporate profligacy—is looking pretty good right now. Once the Post got off his ass about the scandal, he'd probably be able to do some good. But he resigned, so none of this will happen. It would be kind of nifty if Paterson appointed him to the seat now, as some have suggested. (It would be great for Paterson, who would have neatly gone from being a little-known Lieutenant Governor to having Spitzer owe him a huge favor). But it won't happen, because in America you can screw taxpayers, but not hookers. Live and learn. Spitzer will be back on the scene in two years either way. [pic via LAT]

Is everybody ready for some sweet prostitute interviewing? A tipster tells us "100% reliably" that Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the famous Eliot Spitzer hooker, sat down for her first-ever prime time interview yesterday. Our source says that Diane Sawyer filmed the interview for ABC at a midtown studio, in secret, and that the network is planning to air it next Friday. The network hasn't announced it yet, so you heard it here first, assuming it happens. The other, less solid part of this rumor involves how Ashley got paid for her time: Our tipster is somewhat less sure of this part, but has also heard:

Natalie McLennan is the self-proclaimed high-end hooker whose statements in a 2005 New York magazine cover story helped get her convicted on prostitution-related charges last year. Now that she's done her time, McLennan is free to tell all in a new book. And, what do you know, just like her onetime pimp Jason Itzler, McLennan just happens to have unearthed from her memory some sexy new stories to tell about Ashley Dupre, famed hooker to former Gov. Eliot Spitzer and a former working girl alongside McLennan. The tales were excerpted in the Post Sunday, alongside a racy picture (left). They involve cocaine and the rapper Nas:

• Christian Bale is set to get a "caution" about his alleged assault on his Mom and sister in London, but only if he admits guilt first. Comedian Russell Brand: "In England, we have such good manners that if someone says something impolite, the police will get involved. Christian Bale, I believe whilst in a restaurant, rolled his eyes at the lighting. That is an offense punishable by five years in prison in the United Kingdom."

So this is where the career trajectory of Ashley Dupre has led: A $2 million offer from "an entertainment network and a major studio" for virtually all media rights to her high-priced hooker story, including an interview, reality show and possible book. The story was broken in the Post, so Fox's TV and movie divisions are decent bets. As the scandal over her onetime john Eliot Spitzer cools toward tepid, it's hard to imagine Dupre getting a better deal, no matter how many more times paparazzi "catch" her in a hotel with a married construction heir or on the beach in a bikini. Oh, also, here are the three insane careers Dupre is interested in once she gets her payday and this scandal blows over:

Stalker sighting, via email: "Just saw Ashley Dupre, ex-gov Spitzer's prostitute, at the Parker House in Sea Girt; Jersey Shore NJ. She was hanging out conspicously with a group of girls. Wearing a white halter string bikini top with her cell phone tucked in between her ta-tas. She was petite and had muscular shoulders and arms. She looked good but unfortunately had a flock of elder (gentle)men hanging around her group." See? The iPhone is not for everyone, Apple people.

• Alterna-socialite Arden Wohl was arrested for writing "Ralphy Lipshits" on the front of a Ralph Lauren boutique in lipstick. That's a variation on the designer's real name of "Ralph Lipschitz" and a dumb thing to do while wearing a headband (which, face it, she almost certainly was), which is probably the clue that allowed police to track Wohl down after she made her drawing. Oh, she also stole some miniature American flags. [P6]

MySpace's most popular escort, Ashley Alexandra Dupré, doesn't look like a sort-of bisexual reality star — not yet. "They're talking to MTV about Ashley being the next Tila Tequila," claimed a source supposedly close to the reality TV producers who aim to squeeze a few more minutes of fame out of the woman who's been shamefully credited with former New York governor Eliot Spitzer's downfall. So a reality show about prostitution? One's already been running online, recorded at the panopticonically perfect Prague brothel Big Sister, where clients get sex for free if they'll allow their sessions with escorts to be part of the show.

Because the world has not yet suffered enough, a reality show about a hooker looking for love may soon be foisted upon us. When Ashley Alexandra Dupré was sadly diddling former New York governor Eliot Spitzer in a tony Manhattan hotel room, I'll bet she never imagined that one glorious day an outlet as prestigious as E! would report that she was getting a reality show of her very own. The alleged show, in which she may entertain a variety of potential suitors, would set in motion a plan that involves Dupré becoming "the next Tila Tequila," according to a source. And that, folks, really is it.

• The daughter of former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, Courtenay, is dating the heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, Casey. Semel used to date Lindsay Lohan, Johnson used to date a dude, until he was "snatched" away by her aunt. [P6]

The internet's favorite escort, Ashley Alexandra Dupré, wants to apologize for taking so long to approve your Friend Request on MySpace. "All of my pending friend requests from 3/12 through now were deleted by myspace (if you do not approve them within a certain number of days, they get deleted) so...please please please re-send and you should be approved automatically." We forgive, you, Ms. Dupré — we know you were busy. And shame on you, MySpace, for interfering with a working woman's self-promotion by blocking those friend requests.

• Ashley Dupre, call girl to former Gov. Eliot Spitzer, thanked her MySpace fans "for taking the time to send me a bit of strength and inspiration... your words have touched me." She thanked her detractors for making "me push myself and want it even more." [MySpace]

Oh wow! The feds are totally about to bust former Gov. Eliot Spitzer for, get this, sleeping with one or more prostitutes! What a coup. It seems federal prosecutors have lined up their third pimp-type cooperator in their case against Spitzer, Emperors Club VIP operator Mark Brener. Brener's deal follows similar cooperation from alleged madam Cecil Suwal (who doubled as Brener's girlfriend) and alleged booker Tameka Rachelle Lewis. There's supposedly one-more ringleader in negotiations, close to striking an agreement. Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre and one other call girl are also testifying. The feds are salivating with excitement, since crafty Spitzer didn't say anything in his apology speech they can use against him in court:

Expert academic translation of Spitzer hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre's Latin stomach tattoo: "I guess on some weird level, if you wanted to translate it into some modern sense of the word, You could say, 'I used protection.'" [City Room; pic via NYDN]

Other than contemplate the ongoing federal probe over his prostitute habit, what does former Gov. Eliot Spitzer do with himself all day? Punches the clock at his dad's real estate company, it turns out. According to the Observer, Spitzer is poised to eventually take over for his father, who has been treated for Parkinson's disease. Of course, the job means hitting up bankers Spitzer relentlessly hounded as New York attorney general. How uncomfortable. Hopefully the former john has some experience handling embarrassing and awkward situations! At least he doesn't have to worry about real estate brokers and fellow owners, back-slapping types who apparently share Spitzer's taste for quality poontang:

"Cecil 'Katie' Suwal, 23, agreed yesterday to come clean on her role in the million-dollar Emperor's Club VIP ring." [Post]

Law & Order concluded its season last night with a thinly-veiled interpretation of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal. The much-anticipated finale was probably a letdown to any viewer familiar with lurid details of the former governor's trysts (black socks!) or the many racy pictures of his call girl Ashley Dupre. There was way too much investigating and lawyering and way too little fornicating and covering up. Is sweeps already over? Anyway, there were still some worthwhile scenes, including the requisite sardonic one-liner that detective Lenny used to do (directed at a hooker, naturally) and a demonstration of how to destroy a governor-screwing, coke-snorting hooker on cross examination (servicey!). There was also an outraged Spitzer look-alike, a conniving governor's wife (not our Silda!) and the immortal line, "I have a friend in the blogosphere."

Taco Bell's Value Menu slogan is "Why Pay More?" But if a rapper were to say it, they would say, "Why Pay Mo'?" Because black people can't talk right, ha! Cannily tapping into urban culture, the fast food chain is running a "Why Pay Mo'?"online promotion, complete with a Rap Name Generator (mine is Super Fly H. Nach!). Taco Bell's beef tastes like dog food, and their ad agency is making them look like a bunch of tone-deaf racists. But I can almost forgive them for all that, because their site's "Why Pay Mo' Rhyme Generator" allowed me to create a hip hop supergroup featuring evil columnist Andrea Peyser, Spitzer hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre, drunk Post editor Col Allan, and author of the year Keith Gessen, all kicking rhymes about the fat value menu. Action photos below!:

The New York Post's puns don't beat around the bush. "Temeka Lewis, 32, 'fessed up to prostitution and money-laundering charges and promised to tell the feds everything she knows about the Emperors Club VIP, including a blow-by-blow description of Spitzer's dealings with hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka 'Kristen.'" More importantly, the Post has the new pictures of the woman who brought down New York's governor. She's photographed making the traditional pilgrimage of suburban whores, leaving her mother's home in New Jersey for the bus ride to Manhattan's sleazy Port Authority.

Ashley Dupre, Eliot Spitzer's call girl and special friend, is back on the town! She's feeling safe enough from the hordes of paparazzi to venture out to the clubs once again, and that seems only fair. Dupre was reportedly out partying at Marquee last night [Steve Lewis], where "she sat very inconspicuously on the back of a banquette waving her arms and partying like a party girl." We're offering a $100 prize for a picture of her (cell phone camera or otherwise) at the club. Email us. And some nightclubs are so excited, they'll even settle for anyone vaguely resembling New York's most famous political party girl: