We all know that college degrees are one big crap shoot, and some are pure wastes of time and money. Like a degree in "art," right? You're setting yourself up to be a starving artist, right? Wrong, maybe, somewhat!

Pyros, prepare to drool all over your Zippos: Someone has built a sculpture that magically bursts into flames —all it takes is a wave of the hand.

Planning on attending the spring art auctions this week? You might want to bring a spare suitcase-full-of-cash or two: At least a dozen pieces are priced in the $20 million range, including works by Picasso, Monet (pronounced Mo-neyyy), and Maurice de Vlaminck (he was a Fauve). But how can a poor struggling artist like yourself get that kind of dough?

It seems that the sequel to The Hangover features a gag about Ed Helms' character getting a tattoo like Mike Tyson's. One thing the Warner Bros. legal team probably didn't anticipate: A copyright lawsuit from the "visual artist" who drew the original tattoo.

Thomas Kinkade, of course, is America's greatest living artist; but Jon McNaughton is America's greatest living artist in the medium of Paintings of Jesus Surrounded by Historical Figures and Patriotic American Symbolism. And McNaughton's fighting the scourge of liberalism, again!

Fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld doesn't go anywhere without his traveling companion and muse Baptiste Giabiconi. Now he's reserved a very interesting honor for the comely young man: Uncle Karl has sculpted the boy in chocolate. Remember Karl, it melts in your mouth, not in your hand. We wonder what it's filled with when you bite into it!

Hans-Peter Feldmann (pictured, at right) won the $100,000 "Hugo Boss Prize" last year, for being a good artist. Looks like you miscalculated, Hugo: Hans-Peter is totally sticking all of your money to a wall.

Jamie Beck and Kevin Burg's animated photos turn the medium of choice for 4chan trolls into something approaching high art.

An hour into the opening of a show featuring West Virginia artist Peter Kephart's "fire paintings" last night at Zenith Gallery in Manhattan, a fire broke out. But not for the reason you'd think!

What's going on France these days, besides making sure that women only wear French-approved clothing? Let's check in on Avignon (onetime home of the pope!), where the infamous "Immersion (Piss Christ)"—depicting an allegedly urine-dipped crucifix—is currently on display:

When a crazy lady attacked Paul Gauguin's "Two Tahitian Women" in the National Gallery earlier this week, it wasn't just an attack on one painting; it was an attack on local TV news directors having an easy day, for once.

The federal government is intervening in the great labor mural crisis of Maine, where snippy Tea Party Gov. Paul LePage ordered a 36-foot mural of the state's labor history removed the state's Department of Labor because a couple of businessmen didn't like it.

The Smoking Gun has uncovered an old mugshot of Susan Burns, the woman who attacked Gauguin's "Two Tahitian Women" over the weekend. They've also got the criminal complaint, and as it turns out, she's a CIA agent! (According to her.)

Who says that Washington, DC is a "second-class city," when it comes to appreciation of the arts?

Mille Brown is the Jackson Pollock of acid reflux. She's a performance artist who drinks colored milk, then vomits it, then sells whatever she vomits onto. Brown started vomiting rainbows in 2007, allowing herself to dribble colorful upchuck down the front of her shirts, then selling the shirts; she has since progressed to vomiting onto white canvases, which provide "more longevity" and "room to experiment with pattern and color." The above video depicts a 2010 performance for Nick Knight's ShowSTUDIO.com. The website lists the resulting canvas, "Nexus Vomitus," for sale at £1500, or $2400. [ShowSTUDIO via Buzzfeed]

On tonight's Report, we witnessed the conclusion of Stephen Colbert's "Raging Art-On," where the host delved into New York's art auction scene and attempted to get top dollar for a portrait of himself to benefit charity. How'd it go?

The War on Labor Unions in states with new Republican legislatures has opened a new front in Maine, where labor art is the target.

Where is the dark black heart from which all things filthy and corrupt emanate to pollute the souls of our innocent children? Andrea Peyser has found it:

W. Aldon James Jr. has been the president of the National Arts Club, a tony and pretentious group of New York City "arts" lovers, for 20 years. Lately he's turned crazy and, according to a former employee, very racist!

Today we heard the distressing news that 1 in 3 art students can't tell famous works of art from paintings done by monkeys. Oh no! What does this mean? Is art meaningless? Do form and technique and intent mean nothing? Should we burn down MoMA? No, says one commenter.