Uh oh, summertime is here and you know what that means, ladies—time to obsess over your arms, for some reason! Wow! Arms! Appendages! What to do?

Syrian rebels will soon be fighting with American weapons, now that President Obama has authorized arming rebel militias with light weaponry in the wake of U.S. findings that President Bashar al-Assad's forces crossed the "red line" of chemical weapon use.

American women are "opting for surgery to get Michelle Obama's arms," the Los Angeles Times tells us. (Though, obviously, not literally; there are not thousands of women seeking surgery to obtain the First Lady's arms, of which there are after all only two.) The number of women seeking cosmetic "upper arm-lift" procedures has increased by 4,378 percent since 2000, due—many speculate—to Ms. Obama's bodacious arms:

How bad is the economy? So bad that even the usually-booming "things you can kill other people with" sector is doing badly. According to a recent report, the value of worldwide arms deals in 2009 dropped 8.5 percent from 2008.

Wham! Bam! Bang! Slash. Squirt. Last night's episode of All My Mormons was a regular action movie, wasn't it? Well, part of it at least. The rest was your usual strange almost-sorta-melodrama.

Well, well. Michelle Obama has some nice arms, and now all the ladies want some nice arms. Women of America: resist this arm fixation. Do you want to end up just as dumb as men?