Wall Street types are worried because Michael Dell's company hasn't delivered the new music player that had been in the works for the holiday shopping season. The launch has been canceled, says an anonymous insider. That's the best news I've heard from Dell in a long time. Here's why.Competing with Apple on the iPod front seems like a Formula for Fail. My guess is Dell made an honest effort to develop an iPod competitor, then killed the expensive marketing campaign and production run after deciding that they'd built another Zune. Dell has also fallen behind on its downsized-laptop "netbooks", which have neither the power of a full-size notebook nor the portability of an iPhone. Why bother? The biggest segment of the consumer electronics market is still standard-size notebook computers. Dell has fallen from No. 1 to No. 3 position in sales, but that's still a lot of sales. Instead of diluting the company's resources across smaller, trendier markets, it seems more sensible for Dell to refocus on its core product, the cheap-but-impressive PC. Hey, I'd buy one. (Photo by AP/Manish Swarup)

What's the deal Sarah Palin? Is Alaska too small-time for you to bother dolling up your hair all nice like you did for the media elites? The former Republican VP nominee's locks are, in case you didn't notice, way messy since she got back to Alaska; see the photos above, taken at her Anchorage gubernatorial office and at the Anchorage airport. Why is this terrible thing happening and how do we stop it from destroying us all?

T.R. Knight was the first high-profile gay star to contribute to the "No on Prop. 8" cause, and he didn't simply stop there. The Advocate has just published a first-person piece by the actor in which he recounts the sometimes-stormy volunteering he did outside a polling place on Election Day. While holding up signs, Knight was met with a steady stream of Isaiah Washington-style invective, and he details the culprits:

The world's biggest IT services firm fed the New York Times a copy of a speech CEO Sam Palmisano was scheduled to make today in front of the Council of Foreign Relations in New York City. Sam's proposal is blatant: "A technology-fueled economic recovery plan that calls for public and private investment in more efficient systems for utility grids, traffic management, food distribution, water conservation and health care." Also, free Zipcars for gossip bloggers.

We know, we know: as you've read through our raft of election-related stories, your anxiety mounted as the pressing question, "But what does Larry Flynt think about all this?" remained unanswered. Now, though, you can relax, as an email has landed in our inbox entitled, "HUSTLER Publisher Larry Flynt’s Statement On Obama Election." The pornographer's missive was surprisingly well-written and earnest, but only Defamer has the original, revision-heavy first draft:

Animal Magnetism: Seth Rogen's had to make some mainstream concessions to get in fighting shape for The Green Hornet, but they're nothing compared to how he responded to the threat of a Zack and Miri sex scene. "I shaved my back just in case," he told WENN. "I went fully bare, like a two year old. I was ready. I didn't want to be too real for the world. I don't think the world is too ready for a hairy back in a love scene." We'd make an easy Robin Williams joke here, but Rogen beat us to the punch: "Has there ever been a sex scene with Robin Williams? People don't want to see that. That would border on bestiality." [OK!]

We don't know if our tipster was drunk or if the event got relocated after we wrote about it, but Lead21's election-night viewing party, which we had heard was due to be held at the house of Facebook board member Peter Thiel, is now taking place at Jones, a sports bar and steakhouse in San Francisco near Thiel's Marina-district mansion. (The rationale for the locale: Jones has more televisions for watching the results.) Thiel is a major player in Lead21, and has hosted previous election-night parties for San Francisco's Republican minority, we're told, but he may skip this one because of his travel plans. Still, if you want to get a gander of guests of honor Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina, the tech CEOs turned McCain advisors, show up at Jones starting at 5 p.m. The bar remains open to the public during the event, so you're not technically crashing. (Photo by AP/Dharapak)

We've been vexed, terribly vexed by Joaquin Phoenix's slurred proclamation to Extra that he planned to give up acting to follow in the illustrious, thesp rock footsteps of The Bacon Brothers and 30 Odd Foot of Grunts. Was he seriously quitting the business, or was it all a ruse for some forlorn, Sundance Channel takeoff of Punk'd? Then, at the Saturday AFI Fest part for Che, Phoenix did what any actor ready to leave Hollywood would do: a full red carpet press tour, complete with the hastily scrawled words "Bye!" and "Good" on opposite knuckles (perhaps he takes his sentence structure cues from the backwards "B"-sporting Ashley Todd). Said Phoenix to the AP:

In Pershing Square yesterday, Defamer stood alongside fellow Californians waging war against the evil Prop 8, hoisting placards and cheering wildly as passing vehicles (including city buses and cop cars) honked their support for equal civil rights for all. Meanwhile, at a Yes on 8 rally outside City Hall, none other than Austrian fashion journalist and trendspotter Brüno had infiltrated the scene. (Amazingly, The Sun once again reports he was there to shoot footage for "Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt," our own parody title that simply refuses to die.) People reports that once Sacha Baron Cohen was discovered, his "own camera crew worked to shield him. Eventually, he was escorted away inside a van"—the suspiciously swishy hunter became the hunted! We salute what must have been an incredibly difficult decision for Bruno to wear Dockers, a Men's Warehouse shirt, and no hair product in order to blend with the unfabulous crowd more efficiently. More photos after the jump:

Now that Madonna has entered the "ex texting" part of her breakup with Guy Ritchie ("OMG Debi Mazar Hates U 2"), it's time for Hollywood's looky-loos to saddle up and choose a side. On Team Madonna, we have Yankee T-friendly Rocco, a concerned Gwyneth Paltrow, and Alex Rodriguez, whereas Team Guy consists of little but his Sherlock Holmes cast, a discarded British accent used by Madonna over the last decade, and maybe Sarah Palin? Someone should ask her! Now, Page Six breaks the news of two new celebs warming the bench for Madonna: Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld, who are loaning out their house so Madonna and A-Rod can get it on.

There's a certain, overbearing art to the publicist pitch, especially when the flack is emailing an editor to suggest that a client receive coverage in their magazine. Not every thespian is a cover-worthy Angelina Jolie, but most publicists tout their C- and D-listers as though they are, filling their pitches with paragraph upon paragraph of that actor's multiple, stunning achievements (often bolded, capitalized, and punctuated with several exclamation points for emphasis). By the time you finished reading them, you'd be convinced that an actor's upcoming, three-episode arc on Brothers & Sisters deserved no less than Time's "Person of the Year." So, that's one way to do it. Then again, if you're Tom Sizemore's partner and you're pitching to one of the biggest publications in town, there's this way:

When we speculated about a future in TV for Olympian Michael Phelps, we thought it might involve, at most, a Screech-toplined movie of the week (along with the obligatory SNL stint). Imagine our surprise, then, when Page Six told us today that Phelps has embarked upon a second career in Los Angeles: renting himself out to satisfy Hollywood wives!

As hard as it is to believe, the Phil Spector "I Told My Driver 'I Think I Killed Somebody' and Somehow Avoided Conviction" Retrial of the Century is underway, with prosecutor Alan Jackson describing the music genius as "very sinister, very violent and very deadly" in his opening statements. You'll recall that an experimental and wig-friendly Spector traded in his signature Dollytor look for something more closely resembling a lesbian talk show host at the opening of his last trial. But this time around he's arguably adopted his most stylish persona to date: that of Shootin' Filip Sprängporten, the long-rumored sixth member of Swedish supergroup The Hives. Veni Vidi Vicious, indeed! [Photo credit: Original Spector Photo AP Photo/Nick Ut]

E!gads: Two months ago, we learned that Denise Richards: It's Complicated had been karmically snuffed in its crib, only to have Richards herself announce a month later that it hadn't (hey, no takebacks!). Still, we were skeptical, as no official announcement had yet come from E!, and that Richards? Kinda shady! Now, though, we have bad news: The network confirmed today that It's Complicated will indeed be returning. No word, yet, on whether the hair extension budget will be upped for the second season. [Us]

Though Joaquin Phoenix was once famously saved from a car wreck by wacko auteur Werner Herzog, apparently there's one aspect to the actor still in dangerous need of resuscitation: his love of acting. While attending a Paul Newman charity benefit last night, Phoenix told Extra that he's done, finished, finito with doing films, and he's got one shaky reason why:

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens will be remembered for his babbling attempt to explain the Internet on Capitol Hill. Also, for being a crook who used his position to get his house remodeled for free. “Ted Stevens was found guilty of corruption,” says a prepared statement from McCain's team. “This verdict is also a sign of the corruption and insider-dealing that has become so pervasive in our nation’s capital.” Keating Five! Sorry, Mr. Future President, I just blurted that out. It's the layoffs. (Photo by AP/Gerald Herbert)

While outlandish casting rumors for the next Batman sequel are a dime a dozen (we're starting another right here: fresh from her Dreamgrillz triumph, VH1 star Tiffany "New York" Pollard is being tipped to star as Bruce Wayne's next love interest), we've never been able to put much stock in them, principally because Bat mastermind Christopher Nolan hasn't actually signed on to a third film yet. Now, talking to the LAT, the director signals that his future involvement in the series shouldn't be seen as an inevitability:

Woody Allen is celebrated as New York's greatest filmmaker.

1980s art star Eric Fischl is best known for his provocative pastiche paintings which focus on the female body and the seedy underbelly of suburban life. His wife is artist April Gornik.

The scandalous 42nd President of the United States, Bill's wife, of course, is Hillary Clinton. You're probably familiar with his daughter, too, Ms. Chelsea Clinton.