Between a lava-and-ash explosion expected to ruin Christmas, the 57-person massacre perpetrated by elected officials, and the prison that lost nearly half its population to an epic jailbreak, the Philippines' year-end retrospectives may not be very fond. [AP]

Houston became the largest American city to elect an openly gay mayor on Saturday night, but don't get too excited: No one was really paying attention, and it's not like they're going to let them start getting married or anything.

Terry Watanabe, a big wheel in the Asian party favor import business, lost nearly $127 million gambling in Vegas casinos in 2007. But he gave fantastic tips. Call it even?

Christmas is coming, so it won't be long before you're walking barefoot through spilled soda and children's vomit at a security checkpoint in some godforsaken airport. Fortunately, the TSA has leaked a sensitive document explaining how to avoid all that.

Today was the deadline for New York Times staffers to take the buyout package that was offered to everyone in October, as the paper seeks to cut 100 newsroom positions this year. The names we know, below. [UPDATED].

The Chicago Tribune is reporting that computer equipment containing audio files of wiretapped conversations has been stolen from the office Rod Blagojevich's defense attorney.

The White House Correspondents' Association has started letting lowly blogs participate in the White House pool, and now the real journalists are all upset about it.

Well-known fact: Hero naval captain Richard Phillips is the biggest hero next to Sully, due to his heroic act of getting rescued from Somali pirate hijackers. So why is his ungrateful crew staging a retroactive mutiny?

Amazing investigative reporting by the great Joe McGinniss: Sarah Palin says she is conducting her book tour from a bus, but she is actually just hopping on a rented Gulfstream to get from suburban shithole mall to suburban shithole mall.

Poor, beleaguered Roman Polanski is being held in the most inhumane of conditions, a luxury ski chalet with a breathtaking view in a posh Swiss town beneath an endless sky bound only by rainbows.

A plague of thirsty camels has overrun a small, drought-ridden town in the Australian outback. The only way to survive: Round thousands of those suckers up and gun 'em down from choppers.

Barack Obama has responded, via an anonymous aide, to charges that by bowing to the Communist emperor of Japan he was actually surrendering and apologizing for World War II, which is technically illegal because he's not a citizen.

Accused of skipping meals and wasting away, the leader of the free world protested: Am not, I have naturally fine bones, and I'm under a lot of pressure. Hey Barack, quit stealing Nicole Richie's lines.

Nicolle Wallace, the campaign aide Palin blames for her disastrous Couric interview and other crises, struck back on The Rachel Maddow Show last night. And, holy crap, did she tear Sarah a new one.

Richard and Mayumi Heene, the parents of that cute vomiting boy who did not get lost in the air in a balloon, will plead guilty tomorrow to charges that they concocted the story in order to become famous, which happened.

An Arkansas man has been convicted of killing Anne Pressly, the 26 year-old Arkansas TV anchorwoman with a small role in the movie W who was attacked and stabbed in her home last year. The motive was not grand.

In our third installment from the Spitzer Files—our collection of e-mails between Eliot Spitzer's flack and reporters at the height of his hooker scandal—we congratulate the reporters who actually try to learn things before they go on TV.

Cherry on the cake? It was famed defender of the First Amendment Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, and fancy-pants Manhattan prep school Dalton's class rag.

David Plouffe ran Barack Obama's campaign as a steady and extended fuck-you to the hyperventilating Drudge junkies at Politico, and we loved him for it. Now he's admitted he was leaking to them the whole time.

In your typical Tuesday media column: Americans are zombie slaves to various screens, journalists will compromise for money like everyone else in the world, Indymedia tells the Justice Department to fuck off, and your comically mean reporter of the day.