Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin put out two wildfires with his own bare hands. No, actually, he used a firefighting plane. That he built himself. No, actually, he didn't build it. He fathered it by having sex with a jet.

[Rescue workers prepare to search a destroyed building for survivors after a mudslide in Northwest Chinese city Zhouqu. The disaster was the result of massive flooding in the region. Image via AP]

[Here's two side-by-side pictures of Petermann glacier, before and after a huge ice island four times the size of Manhattan broke off of it. Talk about "breaking the ice"! Right? "Breaking the ice"? Pic via AP.]

Levi Johnston, the ex-fiancé of former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, will run for office in Wasilla, the town where Palin served as mayor. Which office? Um, he hasn't filed yet. And the deadline was July 30.

[Two container ships collided near Mumbai on Monday, placing the Arabian sea in danger of an oil spill from the MSC Chitra, the ship seen tilting dangerously here. Pic via AP]

Seven hundred people are dying in Moscow every day, according to a Russian health official, as the sweltering city is choked by smog from hundreds of peat bog fires. Depressing quote from a morgue worker: "The refrigerators are full." [Guardian]

[President Obama looked like he was about to start headbanging to a Judas Priest song when showing the crowd the "hook 'em horns" at the University of Texas in Austin today. Image via AP]

The Way We Live Now: in enslavement to repayment. Our salvation? Reparations. Or—damn it—at least a sandwich.

[A dancer performs during Jember fashion carnival in Jember, Indonesia. The theme to this year's carnival—an event held to showcase local designers—was "buried treasure." Pic via AP.]

What happened this weekend? Major flooding killed hundreds in Asia and displaced thousands in Europe, while Russia battled back against peat fires blanketing Moscow in smog. Here, check out some of the breathtaking pictures.

On Wednesday, Rudy Giuliani's daughter was arrested in a ponytail and oversized t-shirt. On Thursday, photos of her emerging from the police custody with a paparazzi-ready makeover hit the papers. Today she removed her Facebook profile and went silent.

[Doves fly past the gutted Atomic Bomb Dome in Hiroshima during the 65th anniversary ceremony of the city's August 6, 1945 atomic bombing. Click through for an animated map of nuclear bomb detonations between 1945 and 1998. Pic via AP.]

Working from his custom-built home computer, Japanese engineer Shigeru Kondo used American programmer Alexander Yee's software y-cruncher to calculate pi to 5 trillion decimal places, a new record. Kondo's wife and mother, when told, expressed "no particular feelings." How... irrational!

After coming under fire for his company's donations to a political action group supporting right-wing Minnesota gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer, Target CEO Gregg Steinhafel wrote a letter apologizing to his company's employees for... hurting their feelings?

[Two young men jump into the Hoosic River from a covered bridge in Buskirk, NY today. It's a great way to keep cool—if you don't break a leg. Image via AP]

After some snoozy confirmation hearings in which she didn't say anything, Elena Kagan has earned herself a seat on the nation's highest court, the Supreme Court! The final Senate vote was 63-37. Congratulations to Elena Kagan!

Grotesque self-serving politico scumbag and New York state senator Pedro Espada, Jr. has now been caught on tape throwing cash at protesters. Probably cash left in an unmarked bag under his desk, by crooks. Video below.

Microsoft founder Bill Gates, New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg and 38 other billionaires have signed a pledge to give away 50 percent or more of their fortunes to charity. Sounds good! We'll kill them last when the revolution comes.

[Opponents of Proposition 8, which bans same-sex marriage in California, celebrate in front of the Phillip Burton Federal Building in San Francisco shortly after receiving the news that a judge ruled the law unconstitutional. Image via AP]

[Michelle Obama looked as gorgeous as ever while vacationing in Marbella, Spain today with daughter Sasha and a group of friends. Barack's gonna get even more gray hair worrying about those lusty Spanish men around town. Image via AP]