Hawaii's new governor Neil Abercrombie — the same man who "found" Barack Obama's birth certificate and openly mocks birthers — signed into law a bill yesterday that legalizes civil unions for same-sex couples. According to CNN, Abercrombie said during the ceremony:

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange will be extradited to Sweden over allegations that he sexually abused two women there, a court in London ruled this morning. He has seven days to appeal. [NYT; image via AP]

The Detroit public school system plans to close 70 schools to fill a $327 million budget gap while leaving 72 open. Can't you do something about this, Eminem? Maybe make a few phone calls...? Ugh.

Do you know how many new varieties of toothpaste were released in the U.S. last year? Sixty nine. And that's positively modest compared to the 102 new kinds released in 2007. Why so many? Well:

This week, a Mother Jones editor named Adam Weinstein got into a Twitter tête à tête with an Indiana lawyer who called on riot police in Madison to use "live ammunition" to clear protesters out of the state Capitol.

Embattled Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi hasn't just made a mess of his country. He's made more fashion faux pas than the Middle East has had wars since the beginning of time. Here are all the insanely outre outfits that would land him on the worst-dressed list, if putting him on that list wouldn't get you shot. [Photos via Getty, AP]

The NYPD stopped (and often frisked) 600,000 New Yorkers last year, an all-time high since recordkeeping began in 2002. What percentage of those stops led to an arrest? Seven. Seven percent. The other 93% of the time, the people were not arrested. Because they were not committing any crime. Although they were stopped by the police.

Out of the pure goodness of his heart, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia today announced that he's giving out $10.7 billion worth of benefits to his subjects, including a streamlined housing loan process and 15 percent pay raise for government employees! The people of Saudi Arabia will be remain very happy and won't be inclined to complain about anything, ever! [BBC; AJE]

Good news for non-smoking New Yorkers who occasionally catch a whiff of cigarette smoke for a half-second while they're walking outdoors: Mayor Michael Bloomberg signed a law today making sure this never happens again! No promises, though.

As Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) continues to push for a bill that would eliminate collective bargaining rights for almost all of the state's employees, a Gallup/USA Today poll taken amid the standoff finds that most Americans would oppose a similar measure in their own state.

Republican Sen. John Thune, who's only been considered a possible presidential candidate because he's hot, won't run after all. Sorry ladies, and David Brooks! You'll have to go back to making out with your Mitt Romney pin-ups, yet again.

Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi expanded on his brief but legendary comments from yesterday in a much longer address to the nation today. He rambled for well over an hour about random stuff, much like he did in his first speech to the United Nations in 2009. For example: "It's impossible for the youth to follow anyone else. If not Qaddafi, who else would they follow? Somebody with a beard?" Yes. Wait, what?

The news out of Real America: Real America is dying. That's a technical term! New census figures show that a full one in four counties in America are "dying," meaning that they have more deaths than births. They're slowly being erased from not only sociopolitical relevance, but from existence itself!

Malikah Shabazz, the 45 year-old daughter of Malcolm X, is scheduled for an extradition hearing in North Carolina today, after she was arrested there last Friday on a warrant from New York. She's charged with stealing the identity of "the widow of one of Malcolm X's bodyguards" and running up $30,000 in charges in her name. Shabazz is also involved in an ongoing dispute over Malcolm X's estate. She reportedly moved to North Carolina several months ago because "She thought it would be a peaceful place to live."

In a Post exclusive today we learn that alleged mobster Vincent "Vinny Gorgeous" Basciano, for his upcoming death-penalty trial, will have the right to "up to five sets of clothing, including but not limited to undershirts, socks, shoes, dress shirts, suit pants and suit jackets, be made available to Basciano prior to each court date in this case." Stay gorgeous, Vinny.

State-run television in Uzbekistan recently aired a documentary called "Melody and Calamity" to warn Uzbeks of the dangers of western rap and rock music, which are "approaching as dark clouds over the heads of Uzbek youth." One of the more interesting facts from the documentary states that "rap was originated by inmates in prisons, that's why rap singers wear wide and long trousers." The film also suggests that metal fans can be swayed by the soothing sound of classical Uzbek music. Makes sense! [AFP]

On her way home from medical treatment for breast cancer, Alaska state Rep. Sharon Cissna underwent a TSA body scan at the airport in Seattle. Agents then ordered a pat-down of the state representative after noticing her mastectomy on the scan, says her chief-of-staff. Cissna, who is a Democrat, decided to leave the airport and take a 12-hour boat ride from Seattle to Juneau, instead.

Libya's UN delegation has broken with dictator Muammar el-Qaddafi over his "crimes against humanity and crimes of war" and "genocide" against Libyan protesters, whom he has been carpet-bombing all day. Good call, Libya's UN delegation.

Does anyone have a solution for America's "Arizona problem"? The once-peaceful cactus colony is now an embarrassment to a nation that has many, but nothing quite like this. It really should've been obvious for years: When you move billions of elderly white people to an area with a large minority population and then take away everyone's money and houses in an overnight market collapse, everyone gets all worked up, and they all have guns, and the legislature responds by crapping out strange, violent pieces of legislation that should only appeal to dogs but get a decent reception among delirious broke people, too. And then someone shoots a member of Congress, which may or may not have anything to do with anything.

American government officials now say that Raymond Davis, the American man arrested in Pakistan last month after shooting two men dead in Lahore, was part of a covert, C.I.A.-led team of operatives, according to The New York Times.