Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty tries so hard to be loved, and yet. He makes exciting action films on a regular basis, he's apologized for once believing in science, he's released a cartoonish parody of a Republican economic plan, and he's all about the Jesus stuff. He is a full-service pander shop but scares away all the customers. What else can he do at this point? Go nuts about war, obviously.

The White House has maintained its unwavering promise that the President won't sign any major deficit reduction deal without substantial revenue increases. Much of this could come through closing tax loopholes and canceling ending major subsidies, but obviously the cornerstone of the White House's call for more revenues is to return the highest two income tax bracket rates to their Clinton-era levels. But yet again, it's starting to sound like that's being put on hold.

The latest escalation in New York City's War on Smoking, in which smokers can no longer enjoy a cigarette while walking through the park or the tourist-packed pedestrian plaza of Times Square, is going exactly as planned one month after taking effect: completely unenforced.

We never thought we'd see the day. But sure enough, here's Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, clad in her most confidently shiny suit, officially launching her presidential campaign in her native town of Waterloo, Iowa today. Will she be our new, shiny president come January 2013? If it can't be Donald Trump, then sure, this'll do.

The passage of the marriage equality bill on Friday night couldn't have been timed any better, since it kicked off what was a celebratory Gay Pride weekend in New York City. Rather than a protest or political action, this year's parade down Fifth Avenue and across Greenwich Village was all about celebration. Who cares if the people in Middle America are scared by our drag queens, leather daddies, and dykes on bikes, this year was for us—and what a time it was!

The jury in the corruption (re-)trial of Illinois ex-Gov. Rod Blagojevich has reached a verdict on 18 of 20 counts. It will be read around 2pm. Get on a plane to Mexico hella fast, Blags. (Too late now.)

Libyan rebels battling Muammar Qaddafi's forces in the western mountains are now only about 50 miles away from Tripoli. Meanwhile, "foreign parties" are meeting in Tunisia with Qaddafi government ministers today. [Reuters, LAT]

One of two jackets that Michael Jackson wore in his 'Thriller' video was sold at auction yesterday to a rich Texan named Milton Verret for $1.8 million(!). According to his blog, "Milton Verret is an avid car collector and a fan of hot rods, Corvettes, and other popular sports cars." And aside from the times when Verret wants to reenact 'Thriller' in his home, the jacket will go on tour:

One of two Nebraska nuclear power stations located near the Missouri River is submerged in flood waters, Reuters reports. A hole tore in a 2000-foot, inflatable barrier placed around the facility, allowing over two feet of water to pour into containment buildings and electrical transformers.

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. From Lady Gaga in Japan to Madonna in London to Kim Kardashian in Los Angeles to Justin Bieber in New York, here are some of the more amusing shots from the past week.

We don't fly Old Glory in our front yard because we don't have a front yard, we don't have anything, we live in a hallway under a DIY tent crafted from discarded plastic H&M shopping bags. But Fred Quigley's got a yard, and he wants to put a flag in it. Why can't he?

Today's New York Times tells us that the trial of Casey Anthony, who's facing the death penalty for allegedly murdering her toddler Caylee, has become "this year's hot attraction" for tourists passing time in central Florida. Even Mickey Mouse has abandoned his gig to go watch the drama unfold.

Yesterday we told you that Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice and bitch-destroying anger-nerd David Prosser allegedly grabbed Justice Ann Walsh Bradley by the neck with both hands during an argument in her office. Now Bradley's come forward to say that the rumors are true.

Taking disabled people's toys, exposing women's breasts, making women remove their prosthetic breasts: seems TSA agents never stop figuring out new ways to be sadistic. Now comes word that some agents made a wheelchair-bound, 95-year-old woman with final-stage leukemia take off her adult diaper for pat-down purposes.

Brady Bunch matriarch, star dancer, and Wesson-pusher Florence Henderson reveals in her new memoir that back in the 1960s she had a thing with late NYC mayor John Lindsay and ended up with a case of the "little black things," otherwise known as baby spiders.

Despite his "I spend my Friday nights handcrafting latchhook rugs in front of the TV set" appearance, Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser sounds like a total thug. In his latest, alleged rage-out, Prosser grabbed a fellow justice with both hands during an argument. Authorities are maybe investigating, or maybe not?

Some of us suckers have woken up each morning this week hoping to see the headline, "New York Senate Finally Does Something About This Friggin Gay Marriage Bill," only to see the same story about how state Republicans are still thinkin' about it. And guess what? Today is no different, except that senators are getting pissy.

Texas Governor and potential presidential candidate just wrapped up another legislative session dominated by anti-immigrant babble everywhere. But give him credit, as he went to address a Hispanic conference in person yesterday! If he does this again, though, he should probably tweak, or entirely replace, his icebreaker.

The House of Representatives will actually hold two votes today on war funding. This is quite something: One vote to defund military action in Libya, another to authorize it for a year. Finally, many months after the Obama administration went into another MENA country with little-to-no strategy, we're having something akin to a congressional authorization process. This is healthy.

How do you market a worldwide campaign of mass murder? This question perplexed Osama bin Laden until his death in May, according to a letter recovered from his "hideout" in Pakistan. In the letter, he lamented the fact that Al Qaeda was losing the PR war for hearts and minds after years of negative media coverage. The AP reports that things got so bad that bin Laden even considered renaming the group: