Man, everyone's apologizing to Shirley Sherrod today. (As they should!) The White House apologized. This random conservative blogger apologized. Now, Bill O'Reilly is apologizing... for the fact that Shirley Sherrod is a racist liberal extremist!

The Administration has begun its grueling cleanup process after the hasty firing of USDA official Shirley Sherrod, following Andrew Breitbart's latest idiot nonsense. At today's White House press conference, press secretary Robert Gibbs apologized on behalf of the administration.

Sen. David Vitter's unforced lady-related issues continue! The Louisianan, who had affairs with prostitutes and employed a "women's issues" aide who knifed women, joked on the radio today about how Rachel Maddow looks like a dude. Yes, he's apologizing.

Our favorite non-pecker-showing Alaskan babydaddy Levi Johnston tells People that some of his claims about the Palin family last year were lies. "I publicly said things about the Palins that were not completely true," he says. What are those things?

How much do we hate Chris Brown? This much: An "insider" says he used eyedrops for his recent onstage sob-fest. This is what happens when you're hell-bent on getting America to forgive you: We turn you into our whipping boy.

Actor Val Kilmer told a New Mexico county commission he was sorry for saying that 80 per cent "of the people in my county are drunk." His plans to open a bed and breakfast were given the go-ahead. [AP]

In a meeting with House Republicans today, idiot Congressman Joe Barton apologized to his colleagues again for apologizing to BP CEO Tony Hayward. They allowed him to keep his powerful committee position. Then he went and bragged on Twitter! Jesus.

In a very forced announcement, Rep. Joe Barton apologizes for apologizing earlier to Tony Hayward over Obama's BP "shakedown." And, in a separate release, he says, "I retract my apology to BP." Dear God. Tony Hayward looks so confused.

Texas Rep. Joe Barton, who's more or less an employee of the oil industry, delivered an incredible statement to comical BP CEO Tony Hayward this morning, apologizing for the White House's $20 billion dollar "shakedown" fund.

Congressman Bob Etheridge has apologized for awkwardly grabbing that "college student" in this morning's hot political YouTube video, after watching it on blogs. Meanwhile, the Democrats have come up with some talking points about the issue, which don't really help.

[The Pope hath spoken! At Friday Mass, the Pope said he would "do everything possible" to make sure Catholic priests stop molesting children. He was marking the Vatican's "Year of the Priest." Image via AP]

Monster Garage star Jesse James gave a teary interview on Tuesday to apologize to the world for cheating on America's Fun Aunt, actress Sandra Bullock. We also learned he's not a sex addict—"at least in the traditional sense."

Census Bureau director Robert Groves publicly apologized Friday for including the word "Negro" in the census this year. He apologized to a caller on C-Span, a.k.a. "Black-Span." Not "Negro-Span!" Take note, white folks. [USNWR]

The Teabagger who heckled the guy with Parkinsons is totally sorry.

Representative Eric Massa (D-NY) is being investigated by the House Ethics Committee for sexual harassment of a male staffer and also his cancer came back. So he's resigning effective Monday. His statement is... worth a read.

Citibank says it "updated and clarified" procedures that led gay networking website Fabulis to lose its checking account for non-"compliant" content. Anything goes! Oh except illegal stuff, discrimination and gambling. And porno, which everyone knows is for degenerates. (Pic)

Tiger Woods apologized to the parents of the kids his two-year-old goes to pre-school with, for all the paparazzi around the school. We're still waiting by the phone for our apology, for the overtime we devoted to the philandering golfer.

Tiger Woods spent 14 minutes this morning apologizing for, it seemed, practically everything he's ever done. He may have just made things worse.

Are you ready for the Most Important Public Apology By a Famous Golfer Of All Time? It starts at 11 and we'll be streaming and live blogging it.

Apologize profusely on Twitter for racially charged comments about your penis and no one will believe you're genuine. Apologize during a concert with a nice bluesy lick playing behind you, and it just seems honest, raw—and bluesy!