Great news: A study published Wednesday suggests that the West Antarctic ice sheet, which is larger than Mexico, might begin disintegrating much earlier than expected, possibly raising the sea level across the entire ocean as much as three feet by 2100. (Levels in other areas might rise twice as much.)

Metallica, three music businessmen and one headbanging scab, just announced they will do something no men who shop at Armani and "accidentally" kick children have done before: They will have a sugarless, low-calorie soda beverage send them to perform on the icy, cool, refreshing land of Antarctica.

One of the most dramatic, if remote, effects of the government shutdown has been the scaling back of scientific research in Antarctica. All U.S. facilities on Antarctica have been put into "caretaker" status, with minimal staff and research activities suspended. Many have noted the huge blow to science this represents. Less visible are the hundreds of support staff who spend six month shifts as contractors in Antarctica, working as cooks, mechanics, janitors, administrators, etc., who have had their lives turned upside down. We asked one worker at McMurdo Station, the largest U.S. station in Antarctica, how things are going, and she sent us this email:

For the second year in a row, Kate Upton's boobs are the face of Sports Illustrated's annual swimsuit issue. This time, however, she almost died putting them there.

It was a very good week for very cold things. Absolute zero - theoretically, the lowest possible temperature - just became a little less sure of itself, the smug thing. Physicists in Germany believe that they have created an ultracooled gas that goes "beyond absolute zero" into negative Kelvin temperatures.

It feels so good to bring that headline back again. We have new developments and origin stories; ice-bound catastrophes averted and mysterious crimson disks identified. For all of these stories we have caves to thank (say thank you to the caves. Go on. Say it).

This has been a truly excellent weekend for expedition-related news. If Paul Salopek's seven-year Out of Eden trek wasn't enough for you, perhaps British adventurer and official "greatest living explorer" Ranulph Fiennes' The Coldest Journey will suffice (it's worth clicking through for the pictures of the ice-clustered, bristling set of eyebrows on Ranulph alone).

Scientists have counted almost 600,000 emperor penguins in Antarctica — that's almost twice as many as they'd previously thought. Satellite technology gave a more accurate estimate, but the vast amount of penguin crap played a significant role.

Our government's idiotic war on Wikileaks extends even to America's tiny presence in Antarctica. A memo sent to all Americans in Antarctica effectively censors Wikileaks material from the entire continent. Can't tip off the penguins about our secret plans!

Passengers aboard the luxury expedition ship MV Clelia II are probably wishing their biggest problem was subsisting off mayo sandwiches, after the ship lost an engine this week while on an Antarctic cruise and hit 30-foot swells.

How often do you say to yourself, "I sure would like to see this address that I'm mapping on the frozen continent of Antarctica"? A couple times a day, right? Well: Antarctica now has a Google Maps Street View.