First among the horny critters were fucking horses, pornstar ducks, humpy frogs, and zoologist-jerked tortoises. Now it's animals who aren't getting any. Last week it was the sexually stymied chickens. Today, meet the shark who got so desperate, she fertilized her own egg and had a baby with herself!

As you probs recall but wish you didn't, the Times animal sex beat has recently encompassed horse sex, duck dicks, frog humping, and tortoise happy ending massage. Today's addition to the litany is about a pair of sexually frustrated chickens. Why are they frustrated? Because someone thought it would be a good idea to raise them inside of her Manhattan co-op. (Co-op coop!) Actually, maybe this is also another instance of "rich people now living like poor people" reportage, too! It's a lot of things. But mostly, it's about the bad kind of anthropomorphism.

To recap recent Times animal sex crazinesses: First horse sex, then duck dicks, then frogs going bump in the night. We suppose no one should have been surprised, then, to open the Science section to today's article about Lonesome George , a tortoise, and the zoologist tasked with masturbating him.

Is there a Lifetime Achievement Award for Animal Sex Coverage? The Times is totally going to win it. Last two weeks, we've had horse sex, duck dicks and now frogs doing it. The latest, coyly titled "Frogs Go Bump in the Night," comes courtesy Ann Raver, who's clearly spent too much time in the Garden. Raver is taken into the froggy slutfest by Mr. Noonan, an "amateur naturalist," (he goes nude but not for money?) and his friend Norman Barker, a medical photographer.