Angelina Jolie does not enjoy our colonial holiday. Lindsay Lohan is spending Thanksgiving with a bad influence. Cameron Diaz and A-Rod are back on. Billy Joel is recovering. Wesley Snipes is appealing. Thursday's gossip is making pies with its mother.

The most beautiful woman in the world has the ugliest laugh. Justin Bieber sprains his knee. Lindsay Lohan forgoes painkillers. Katy Perry's married life is like "a sitcom." Friday gossip needs a better laugh track.

[Angelina Jolie uses her super sniper skills to finally rid herself of her rival. Okay, she was really shooting her movie in Hungary, but it's more fun to pretend. Image via INF]

Shiloh Pitt may be the weirdest four-year-old you've ever heard about. Also today: sad news for Sarah Jessica Parker, happy news for Carrie Prejean and another religious nut, a tale of Johnny Depp's opulence, and the requisite Lohan update.

[Evil monster Angelina Jolie, ruiner of women, directing her movie. Photo via Splash]

Jared Leto handpicks a gyrating babe for his next music video. Brangelina spend the day at a bath house. Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent: Back on? Monday gossip could use a good steam bath.

A man claiming to be Angelina Jolie's old drug dealer gave an interview to Life & Style. Among his accusations: She did a Charlie Rose interview high on cocaine. Here's video of the interview—does this woman seem high?

[The first-time director on the Hungarian set of her movie. Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

A new explanation for Bieber's laser tag freak out emerges. Rooney Mara pierces her nipples. Kim Kardashian will never again go naked. Elin Nordegren got $110 million from Tiger? Monday gossip grapples with the bullying crisis afflicting our gay tweens.

[Angelina Jolie on the set of her directorial debut, a Bosnian love story. More images below.]

Angelina Jolie is currently filming her directorial debut in Budapest. Her partner, Brad Pitt, stopped by the set yesterday. They ate a sandwich together. We're not sure exactly what they said, but we think it went something like this.

Multiple penis pictures hit the market—will we see West's wang? Katy Perry plans a monochromatic wedding. David Arquette wishes he didn't talk shit about his estranged wife's sex life. Thursday gossip has 20/20 hindsight and bionic penis-vision.

Vanity Fair is supposed to be a "cultural catalyst," a "magazine that provokes and drives the popular dialogue." Then why does it dedicate so many covers to dead ladies? Who's buying these issues? And why is it getting worse?

The "coke" was coca-cola, the goal was a vending machine, and she failed. Christina Aguilera confirms splitting with her husband. Rachel Zoe is pregnant. Joan Collins ridicules ugly starlets. Wednesday gossip would sell its first child for a soda.

The Jolie-Pitt brood begins school in a fortress of solitude in Budapest. Jennifer Aniston is the world's most eligible single lady. Chelsea Handler goes on a date with 50 Cent. Tuesday gossip is ready to mingle.

Click image above to enlarge

Try as she did, her presence on air last night didn't get people worked up. Also today: Matt Dillon gets a juicy role, Angelina finds her leady lady, and two favorite Lost actors are getting together for a new show!

Here's a trailer for the upcoming comedic(ish) thriller The Tourist, about a bumbling American tourist (Depp) who, while traveling in Italy, gets mixed up with a mysterious woman (Jolie, duh) and action/adventure/intrigue ensues. It looks... less than thrilling?

U.N. Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie is in horribly flooded Pakistan today to "highlight the continued urgent need for help." And Pakistan does need help! Jolie's leaky pail can't scoop out all of that water alone. [Image via AP]

It's true. Yoda has looked up to the heavens and declared this true. Also today: up-and-comer Anthony Mackie lands another role, a promising movie stalls out, Tom Cruise gets a sexy sidekick for his next Mission, and Twilight news.