The collective gay hive mind has given all sorts of crap to people who use the f-word (as in "fag"), like Brett Ratner and Kobe Bryant, but even gay men walk around calling our closest female friends "fag hags." Well, it's time for an alternative.

Remember when romance-defiling reality hag Patti Stanger went on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live and suggested all gay men were undesirably effeminate sluts fraught with disease and incapable of monogamy? How about when she then lied to Joy Behar about her remarks while simultaneously making even worse ones? If so, you'll be happy to know that Stanger finally issued a proper, well thought-out apology to Andy Cohen on tonight's Millionaire Matchmaker reunion show.

Bravo is all set to announce plans to take Andy Cohen's Half-Hour Make Me Famous Hour from its current Sunday and Monday airings to five nights a week. His plan for global media domination is working! Yes, Watch What Happens Live will now run Sunday through Thursday.

Conan O'Brien ended his week-long stint in New York with a bang tonight: He officiated at the same-sex wedding of a staffer and aired the ceremony on his TBS talk show. Scott Cronick works as Conan's costume designer and he was accompanied down the aisle by Bravo's Andy Cohen before tying the knot with his partner, David Gorshein, under a chuppah that had been set up on the stage. Then it was up to Conan to make it official, as you can see in this clip from the show.

Remember when Sarah Jessica Parker went on the Late Show last month and told David Letterman a rambling story about Russia? Replace the Late Show with Watch What Happens Live, David Letterman with Andy Cohen and Russia with the Real Housewives, and you'll have described what happened on Bravo tonight. Here's a highlight reel of Parker's manic, albeit pretty adorable, appearance.

Following Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger's appearance alongside Andy Cohen on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live Sunday night, we posted a video of her reinforcing negative stereotypes of gay men with stupid statements disguised as dating advice.

Last night on Andy Cohen's Trivial Pursuit with Trivial People self-proclaimed millionare matchmaker Patti Stanger had some lousy dating advice for gay men. One of the things she said is, "no one wants a queen." You're wrong, Patti. Plenty of people want a queen.

Andy Cohen opened the new season of Watch What Happens Live tonight on Bravo. So what happened? Well, Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger answered questions from viewers about dating. And by "answered questions," I mean "made dumb comments that reinforce stereotypes of gay men as effeminate, disease-carrying sluts who are incapable of monogamy." A compilation of Stanger's statements is above.

We've been hearing whispers for the better part of a week that Kelly Bensimon, Alex McCord, and former Gawker intern Jill Zarin have been fired from the Real Housewives of New York and now it seems like it is official. Goodbye, sweet, sweet ladies.

Bravo honcho Andy Cohen programmed himself onto the network to host the Real Housewives reunions and gave himself his own show. But that wasn't enough. Now he's writing a book about growing up loving pop culture and suppressing his homosexuality as a child. It's called Obviously Andy: The Dandy Andy Story of Growing up Andy Cohen by Andy Cohen by Andrew Cohen. OK, not really, but it does come out next summer.

Remember Kevin Michael Barba, the "openly gay, up and coming New York socialite" who materialized in our inbox last week after his parents' secretary emailed us looking for a publicist referral? Well, he's back. So what's the teenager with "millions of dollars at his disposal" up to this week? He's doing amateur interviews on the streets of New York, of course. And he's as modest and down to earth as ever, as you'll see in the video above. [via Boy Culture]

I was determined not to say anything about the interminable Real Housewives of New York reunion, but after watching the three-hour cackling death march, I couldn't remain silent. There's something very wrong with the Housewives, and someone needs to fix it.

Following tonight's season finale of Real Housewives of New York, stars Sonja Morgan and Countess LuAnn de Lesseps spent some time yakking it up with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live.

I finally pried last week's copy of the National Enquirer from Maureen O'Connor's cold dead hands and found this funny article that says Bravo honcho and America's gayest homosexual Andy Cohen wants to get gay married to Anderson Cooper, America's least eligible gay bachelor. Oh, sweet love!

Someone has posted a casting notice looking for the standard issue fame-craving Krakens that grow into Real Housewives, this time in Malibu. We've fallen for this trick before, so we're not believing it until we hear it from Andy Cohen.

Last night Andy Cohen had New York Housewife Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and former D.C. Housewife Cat Ommanney on his masturbatory Bravo talk show to discuss the Royal Wedding. Things were tense between the two all night, but when they taped the web-only after show, things really got explosive!

To celebrate 100 episodes of Watch What Happens Live and the premiere of RHONY, Andy Cohen invited Jill Zarin and Ramona Singer onto his Little Talk Show That Could. While Andy pulled out all the stops for the occasion, the biggest surprise of them all was what Jill was wearing.

The Today Show invited Ted Danson to talk about his passion project (saving the oceans) but ended up talking about his time on Cheers instead.

Anderson Cooper was one of the grand masters of the Endymion parade yesterday, one of the largest in New Orleans annual Mardi Gras celebration. But he couldn't do it alone. No, he brought his "companion" along for the ride.

Andy Cohen has finally gone too far. The Bravo exec and culture gadabout was on Morning Joe today discussing, among other things, the Oscars, and went into a mini-tirade about the end of the show, when Staten Island's own PS 22 chorus, a group of adorable tear-inducing school children, came out and sang.