Hugh Jackman held a woman in his arms, and it made him pee. Whitney Houston throw a tantrum on an airplane. Hilary Swank "deeply regrets" war criminal fete. Ashton worries about ratings. Thursday gossip is all wet.

CNN.com's business of selling t-shirts is starting to gain some traction and go viral, even after the network closed a security hole that let you write whatever headline you wanted. Obama supporters flocked to buy the "Obama Makes History" headline on a shirt last week, breaking sales records. Another boost came when Anderson Cooper said he wanted Donna Brazile to be his "boo," and people flocked to buy a shirt reading, "Anderson Cooper, ‘you're not my boo.'" It's now the number-three all-time bestseller. But, in true mainstream media fashion, CNN is doing its best to thwart its own online success. The network selectively blocks some of the best headlines, like "Grizzly Victim: 'He's eating my brain!'" There's now a whole website dedicated just to non-shirt-eligible headlines, like these:

File under "Headlines we never thought we'd see:"

The image above comes from a print ad for CNN Anchor Anderson Cooper's sojourn this week to the dark continent. There's something about his soulful, plaintive gaze in the photo that makes us wonder: What's going through that 360 degree brain of his? Any ideas?

• Only because we have to: Colin Farrell's sex tape. Enjoy, if that's your thing. And it probably is, considering it's someone worth seeing naked. The site has only been working intermittently, so you can use your imagination with this artfully cropped screen shot. [DirtyColin]
• While New York begs us all to remember that they were on the scent of JT Leroy's scam long before Warren St. John and the Times, let's all remember that the Village Voice was on this one, oh, four years ago. [VV]
• Let the mockery begin: "What I Plan to Embellish for Obvious Dramatic Reasons in My Own Forthcoming Memoir." [Minor Tweaks]
• You never forget your first Goatse. [Flickr via EdRants]
• Anderson Cooper undergoes an emotional investigation into the emotional work of Anderson Cooper. [Slate]
• Thanks to the expanding laws of the universe, mass quantities of douchenuggets are now able to enjoy simultaneously looking like a Gotti. [Sherdog]
• Breaking: Avril Lavigne is a LADY! [PITNB]