Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, a despotic thug who owes his enduring fame to an accident of history, reminded Americans in an appearance on “Face the Nation,” that the real problem in African-American communities is not systemic racism or police brutality, but black-on-black violence.

Rudy Giuliani's had a rough week. First, he said President Obama doesn't love America. Then he said that wasn't a racist thing to say. (It is.) Now he tells CNN his office is getting death threats, and also he still thinks Obama doesn't love America.

Poor Caroline Giuliani. Arrested for stealing makeup from Sephora on the Upper East Side on Wednesday, she was obviously the victim of inept police work because she was handcuffed. Handcuffed! The daughter of "America's Mayor" deserves better than that.

Failed presidential candidate and "America's mayor" Rudy Giuliani has been shuffling around New York to shuck up support for a potential Gubernatorial run come 2010, but should really reconsider. Because, honestly, his dreams will likely be squashed. Thus, a warning....

Hah. So Mika Brzezinski complained about the old sex scandal double standard, and then when she had Rudy Giuliani in the studio to talk about Mark Sanford, she forgot to ask him about his own business.

Last night's CBS Evening News had a story on how Rudy Giuliani, our thrice-married former mayor, is faring with the more conservative voters who will choose the Republican Party's presidential nominee. In this clip, Southern Baptist Convention lobbyist Dr. Richard Land (you may remember him from such classics as getting President Bush involved in the Terri Schiavo case and his firm advocacy of "reparative therapy" to make the gays normal) explains that, while standards may have slipped, they probably haven't slipped enough to help America's Mayor with the Godite believers of flyover country.

"By our count, [Rudy] Giuliani spent about 58 hours at Yankees games or flying to them in the 40 days between Sept. 25 and Nov. 4, roughly twice as long as he spent at ground zero in the 60 days between Sept. 17 and Dec. 16. By his own standard, Giuliani was one of the Yankees more than he was one of the rescue workers." Yeah, but c'mon, they were in the Series! Priorities! [Salon]

Wayne Barrett totally unloads on Rudy Giuliani: He's a terrible father who has completely humiliated his children in his self-absorbed pursuit of he dream of finding lasting love with various aides and women he picked up at cigar bars. [VV]

How responsible was Rudy Giuliani for the city's falling crime rates during his tenure? Ten years and one week after Abner Louima, a panel sponsored by the American Sociological Association discussed the topic. Their conclusions: Maybe a lot, except maybe he was the beneficiary of nationwide trends that saw crime drop simultaneously in other major cities where Giuliani was not, as it happens, the mayor. It's one of those topics where you can use whatever statistics you want to support your argument, so we don't suppose the question will ever be answered definitively, but say this for the former mayor: He kept Bernie Kerik off the streets for a little while. That's gotta count for something.

So there's an absolutely mammoth article about Rudy Giuliani in this week's New Yorker. (Not mammoth like "Oh this Styles section piece is like, OMG, 1200 words long"; more like "It is without end.") We've been trying to avoid reading it all morning, but the bossman keeps throwing things at us and telling us how to do our job and stuff. So, whatever, finally we sat down and read the damn thing.

Today Rudy Giuliani will speak at Pat Robertson's Regent University, where he will address a group of conservative voters who are at odds with some of his stances on social issues. Giuliani's goal, according to the Sun is to convince skeptics that "his bona fides on leadership and fiscal discipline should trump his views on... like abortion." How will he do it?

Everything you need to know about the Catholic Church can be found in this one simple sentence from the Daily News:

Turns out that guineas all over the country are mobbing up to donate to the campaign of America's Cousinfucker, Rudy Giuliani. That's right: This morning's Post reports that Eye-ties across the nation are so excited by the prospect that someone with a vowel on the end of his name might be president (yes, yes, Millard Fillmore, give us a break) that they're taking time away from their busy schedule of wifebeating and "sanitation" work to drop money into the Giuliani coffers. Still, we found the Post's lead—"Rudy Giuliani for president. That's amore!"—to be lacking in whatever the wop version of je ne sais quoi is. Herewith our suggestions; probably you can do better.