Realizing that there's no way they can really compete with Time and Newsweek, perennial bronze medalist U.S. News & World Report has decided to go with the gimmick of running one "best of" issue per month. The Post's Keith Kelly reports that the magazine—which can only sell copies with coverlines like "America's Best Colleges," or "America's Best Hospitals"—is hemorrhaging money that owner Mort Zuckerman would rather spend on glossy, embroidered pink slips that he's handing out like candy to Daily News employees. Asked to confirm the changes, U.S. News editor Brian Kelly tells Keith that, yeah, it's true, but offers the wan assurance that the magazine is "still in the news business," and then provides a handy list of the ten best reasons anyone should believe such obvious bullshit. We're actually kind of excited for the change: We hear February will have the long-awaited "America's Hottest Snatches" issue.