During a speech to his conservative supporters in Barrington, New Hampshire this weekend, Senator Ted Cruz bashed the "Obama-Clinton foreign policy of leading from behind," saying the "world is on fire," to the horror of a three-year-old sitting in the front row.
The answer is yes.
Last night's American Horror Story went where even 1984's notorious, depraved and once-protested Santa slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night wouldn't: It featured a man in a Santa costume assaulting a nun, punching and whipping her in the ultimate S&M roleplay of secular and religious reasons for the season. The full scene, in which Deadwood's Ian McShane plays a maniac exacting his revenge to Jessica Lange's Sister Jude for keeping him in solitary confinement, is above. Usually American Horror Story, which is so fucking great and trashy this season, merely goes over the top: here it goes over the top and through the chimney.
Maybe the craziest thing about American Horror Story's second season, which premiered last night on FX, is that it isn't a second season, really. The series is an anthology, meaning that despite the likes of Jessica Lange, Lily Rabe, Zachary Quinto and Evan Peters returning, we're getting a whole new set of characters in a whole new storyline that (supposedly) has nothing to do with what happened in the haunted-house-based first season.
Halloween is coming up!
It's a very darling sort of year for the Emmys with critical/Internet/real people favs like Girls, Breaking Bad, Homeland, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock popping up in multiple categories. Mad Men and American Horror Story lead with 17 nominations. Somewhat weirdly, American Horror Story qualifies for the miniseries categories because, as Vulture explained earlier this year, "the miniseries distinction is reserved for programming that has a story line that gets resolved in a single season." This logic led the first season of Downton Abbey to be considered by the Emmys as a miniseries last year, although that was bullshit then (clearly Mary and Matthew had more heart-dragging to do — no one could have possibly thought that the first season finale constituted resolution). It's a bit more understandable in the case of American Horror Story, which will focus on an entirely different story every season, but it's still a little weird since we know several characters from last time around will return. (Actually, word is that returning actors will not be reprising their Season 1 roles but take up all new ones. Jessica Lange, for example, is supposed to play a nun.) No matter - whatever it takes for a show so batshit crazy to be regarded as distinguished is fine with me.
With the success of American Horror Story on FX get ready for everyone to try to concoct a horror show of their own. First up, ABC's The River. Sorry, guys, it's just not going to work.
Every single television critic has written their "10 Best of 2011" article and it's all, "Oooh, Breaking Bad." "Let's hear it for Community." "Friday Night Lights should never leave!" "Do you love Louie? I love Louie. You should love LOUIE!" Fuck them! All their damn lists are the same year after year. Here are some of the other things that happened on television when the critics were playing Ookie Cookie with each other.
How good was last night's first season finale of American Horror Story? A little long, but so good, right? And amazing show creator Ryan Murphy will continue to not fuck his show up. This is a Christmas miracle.
It's officially awards season now that the secretive geniuses at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have announced the nominees for the Golden Globes, Hollywood's self-love and booze fest. The Artist appears to be the big winner, but that's not surprising at all. However there are some shocks to be had.
Yes, our beloved football friends may yet live. Also today: good news for an American Horror Story, bad news for an American idol, and James Bond has a new title.
Straight up horror, that delightful combination of gross-out thrills and sexual chills, is usually something best enjoyed in short bursts, which is why it works wonderfully at the movies. But on TV? FX is giving it at shot with American Horror Story and, boy, is it something!
Phat actress Kirstie Alley has a new TV show in the works, so she is a working actress again! Also today: Saturday Night Live lands some funny hosts, Lauren Ambrose takes a big musical role, and Ashton Kutcher is sad and rich.
Though he once said he'd "quit acting," that was all a hoax, and Joaquin Phoenix really hasn't quit acting at all. Also today: the return of the return of musicals, Jessica Lange makes a TV project even more exciting, and Bradley Cooper is seriously miscast.
