Today, Honduran-American actor America Ferrera expressed her gratitude to Asshole-American Donald Trump in the form of an open letter, thanking the odious toilet-man for “igniting a fire” in the Latino community with his recent, incredibly racist comments about Mexican immigrants.

The Man Booker Prize will be open next year to all fiction writers in the language called "English," even those from nations that forcibly unyoked ourselves from the Queen's jurisdiction. Power grab or final capitulation of failed empire? Either way, tough break for Hilary Mantel, up against Jennifer Weiner from now on.

When America rains death from above, it gets messy. The bloody masses of maimed civilians, the lingering radiation from depleted uranium casings, not to mention our signature calling cards — live cluster bomb shells and shrapnel. Lots of shrapnel. Thanks to engineers at Boeing, Team USA may have solved that "problem" with lasers. And they won't just be mounted in planes: A "Laser Avenger" system is being tested which would mount on a Humvee, thereby creating the greatest thing to wildly fire in a drunken stupor ever (and God help us when we make humanity's final, fatal flaw and put them in the hands of the robots instead). Best part?It's silent, deadly and leaves no trace, making it the ultimate in plausibly deniable weapons for the discrete diplomat. Except for a brief vacuum some guy our intelligence apparatus mistook for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad used to be, there will be nothing left to have to explain. Of course, the photographs from the Air Force are all fictions, because you wouldn't actually see the laser necessarily. So who's winning the Photoshop proganda war now, suckers?

The U.S. Army does indeed get 70 percent of its recruiting leads online now. But not necessarily because aspiring soldiers watched one of the Army's videos produced by ad agency MRM. Still, the Army's most popular clip, "Basic Combat Training." is worth a watch. Don't miss the part between 0:25 and 0:30, where a new female soldier uses the word "fun" twice to describe her experience, over footage of trainees firing semiautomatic rilfes and machine guns in mock battles. Hmm, when was the last time anyone I know in tech described their job as "fun?"