Ha. The illustrious Columbia Journalism Review, stuck in the no-fucking-news months with the rest of us, tracked down John Quinlan, the Sioux City Journal reporter who wrote the most Onion-like real news story of all time, which will forever stand as our single favorite work of journalism. ("Olive Garden arrives" in Sioux City. That guy!). And he's very even-keeled about his newfound internet fame. "I wanted to have a little fun with the story," he says...

The most Onion-like real news story of all time has been found. [Sioux City Journal via James Wilkerson]

Did you see page three of today's Post?

Every now and then, something cross our inbox so brilliant that we couldn't possibly add anything to it. (Rephrase: Every now and then, something cross our inbox so unbelievably brilliant that we're, atypically, not arrogant enough to think we can improve it.) This is one of those times. Ladies and gentleman, from the fertile mind of Mr. Andrew Hearst:

And on the seventh day, Drudge discovered Microsoft Word Art.