Cancer misinformation runs rampant on the internet. Headlines on “natural living” websites expose the alleged truth about doctors and scientists in cahoots with Big Pharma. According to the self-styled experts behind these stories, so-called studies claim that everything from baking soda to coconut oil to green juice can cure cancer.

The scream-headline urgency of Extra's breaking news press release on the sharp object jutting from Matt Damon's ear on the red carpet of the Berlin premiere of The Bourne Ultimatum had us briefly concerned that the beloved actor had become an exhibitionist self-mutilator as an unhealthy response to the pressure of his constant promotional obligations, but we'd urge you not to succumb to the same ill-informed panic: his publicist says that he was just wearing it to combat a "terrible spasm" in his neck and back. Everything's OK! But what exactly was so terrifying about the needle that the celebrity newsmagazine was scrambling to get an exclusive on That Thing In Matt Damon's ear? After the jump, we think we've found an image of the therapeutic implement that could have brought Hollywood to a standstill if left unexplained: