Divorces are ugly business. That's what we can learn from today's gossip roundup, which includes Madonna and Guy Ritchie acting like children, Peter Brant taking on Stephanie Seymour's fashion habit and, on another note, the return of Tina Fey's Palin.

Fashion designer Alexander McQueen turns 40 today. Rob Lowe is turning 45. Estée Lauder president John Demsey is 53. Kurt Russell is 58. The Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan is turning 42. Actor Gary Sinise is turning 54. The Corrs' Caroline Corr is 36. Former U.S. Rep Cynthia McKinney is 54. Retired soccer star Mia Hamm is 37. And Ice-T's very shy, very modest wife, Nicole "CoCo" Austin, is turning 30.

• The recession ain't stopping Marc Jacobs: He's opening seven new boutiques this year. [WWD]
• Alexander McQueen stunned crowds at Paris Fashion Week with a collection that "oozed with imagination," but was "plenty unsettling," too. [IHT, WWD]
• Reviews from some of the other shows in Paris the past couple of days. [NYT, WSJ, Vogue UK]
• Détente! Anti-fur crusader (and PETA honcho) Dan Mathews was spotted shaking hands with none other than Anna Wintour. [NYP]
• Apparently the economy is forcing women to rush over to consignment shops to sell their "beloved Louis Vuittons at pennies on the dollar." [NYP]
• J. Crew is thinking of opening a bridal salon. [Racked]
• You can credit Twilight for boosting sales at Hot Topic. [NYM]
• Neiman Marcus reported that sales dropped 21% last quarter. [Reuters]
• A peek at a new collection by Kimberly Ovitz, daughter of Michael. [Pipeline]
• At John Galliano's show in Paris, "toxic" fake snow had editors like Hamish Bowles, Grace Coddington, and Glenda Bailey most unhappy. [Fashionologie]

• More on the clothes and behind-the-scenes drama at Milan Fashion Week. [IHT, Reuters, Telegraph]
• Pop magazine has a new editor: Dasha Zhukova (left), Russian fashion/art "It" girl and girlfriend of billionaire oligarch Roman Abramovich. The new editorial board includes the likes of Julia Restoin Roitfeld and Daphne Guinness. [Guardian]
• Oscar dress knockoffs are headed your way, naturally. [NYP]
• Pamela Anderson, who stars in Vivienne Westwood's new ad campaign, will walk the catwalk for her in Paris next week. [Vogue UK]
• McQueen for Target doesn't appear to be selling all that well. [Racked]
• The woman believed to be the highest-grossing saleswoman in Saks' history is now on trial and is facing up to 25 years in prison. [NYT]
• Anna Wintour smiled in Milan today. Really. [FWD]

• Your prayers have been answered: Hilary Duff is now designing a line of jeans. [FS]
• Estée Lauder is slashing 2,000 jobs. [WWD]
• Fortunoff has filed for bankruptcy. [WWD]
• A Q&A with Alexander McQueen. [NYM]
• Doo-Ri Chung celebrated the launch of her new line, Under.Ligne, last night. [FWD]
• Four places you can drink wine/coffee and get a haircut while you shop. [Pipeline]
• Meet the woman with the biggest breast implants in world. [NYDN]

• The Max Azria dress that Angelina Jolie wore to the SAG Awards? She wore it backwards. [NYM]
• Marc Jacobs is slashing the guest list for his Feb. 16th show. [WWD]
• Target has a temporary McQueen shop planned for next month. [Racked]
• The backstory on why Fabien Baron was pushed out at Interview. [WWD]
• Jane Mayle's store isn't closing; it will be around through April. [Pipeline]
• Two brands doing well despite the recession: H&M and Mango. [WWD]
• Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat is Smithsonian-bound. [SW]

• Two people very happy this evening: Jason Wu, who designed Michelle Obama's one-shoulder white chiffon gown; and Isabel Toledo, of course, who was responsible for the lemongrass-yellow coat and matching dress that Michelle wore to the inauguration. [NYT, AP, WWD]
• As for Malia and Sasha's outfits—and Michelle's olive gloves—don't go searching for them at J. Crew just yet. The pieces won't be available to the general public until fall. [Reuters]
• Trousergate, fashion's latest catfight: Giorgio Armani has accused Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana of copying his quited trousers; bitchy comments on both sides have followed. [Guardian]
• A first look at Alexander McQueen's new line for Target. [Nylon]
• News flash: There aren't that many blacks on the catwalks these days. [NYT]
• Profits are up at Burberry, but the company is still cutting staff. [WSJ]
• Aretha Franklin's inaugural hat can be yours for $179. [WWD]

• Kate Moss will celebrate her 35th birthday this weekend with a "four-day marathon of excess." The sight of a bunch of models standing around a giant pig on a spit at a hog roast? Priceless! [DM]
• She's no Michelle, but Oscar will be dressing Hillary for the inauguration. [People]
• Marc Jacobs, Alexander Wang, and Calvin Klein Inc. have all cancelled their Fashion Week postshow parties, alas. [WWD]
• Following in the footsteps of Saks, Lord & Taylor is now laying off staff, too. [Fashionista]
• L'eau de Brooklyn will debut in March. [BS]
• Alexander McQueen and Puma are teaming up on a new line. [Pipeline]
• Goodbye, Bush: Celebrate Bush's exit with a discounted bikini wax. [Racked]

For 24 young women, this weekend marks a milestone in their lives: They will make their formal debut into society, just as if they were a bunch of sheltered virgins rather than the jaded and worldly daughters of the rich and powerful. The annual Crillon Ball, tirelessly organized by Parisian Ophélie Renouard, is taking place on Saturday, and WWD talks to a few of the lucky attendees about their dresses, and "escorts."

♦ It's a horrifying mystery that will weigh heavily on all of our minds until it's solved: Where on earth is Karolina Kurkova's belly button? [Telegraph, Daily Mail]
♦ Diane von Furstenberg confirmed last night that she has submitted sketches for Michelle Obama's inaugural ball gown: "Well, they asked me to. Of course, everybody has." [The Cut]
♦ Best outfit worn to the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund Awards last night: Agyness Deyn's tux-style black suit with Marc Jacobs hat and red platforms. Absolute worst: Blake Lively's hideous Vena Cava dress, which we can only imagine was chosen to fulfill a contractual obligation to expose her boobs at all times. [stylefile, Teen Vogue]

♦ Henri Bendel updated its window display this morning to account for the results of the election: "The cocktail-dress-wearing mannequins have been moved over to the blue polling booth, someone cracked a bottle of champagne (and drank it, leaving an empty bottle and glass), and there's a strange, lipstick-edged cake on the floor." [Racked]
♦ While most of the country was consumed by election fever, some fashionistas were all ready en route to support an equally important issue: Brazilian swimwear! The Claro Rio Summer show kicks off in Rio today, and Zani Gugelmann, Amy Sacco, Fiona Scarry, Natalia Vodianova and Justin Portman, and Michael Roberts are all there. [CR, CR, stylefile]

♦ Unlike the Marc Jacobs store window in LA, which is mocking Sarah Palin, Henri Bendel's display is bipartisan, with mannequins flanked by red and blue polling booths. In more other Marc news, you can add his "Rock and Roll Circus" holiday party to the list of festivites that have been cancelled due to the economic downturn. [WWD, WWD]
♦ Madison Avenue is "pockmarked" with vacant storefronts, reflecting "sky-high rents and how cautious and dollar-conscious European and American brands have become in their expansion plans." [WWD]
♦ Donna Karan is opting not to spend money shooting an ad campaign for spring '09; instead, the company will just use images from the runway show. If this is going to be a trend, models and photographers might want to consider a side job. [The Cut]

♦ Isaac Mizrahi went on Leonard Lopate's radio show yesterday to offer advice on how to be stylish during a recession. His counter-intuitive tips? Go to expensive hairdressers, buy expensive shoes, and "never buy anything that's on sale." [The Moment, WNYC]
♦ Suri Cruise has a pair of one-off, custom-made red Roger Vivier pumps, even though the brand doesn't do children's shoes. Somehow, we have a feeling that no amount of shoes will reduce the therapy in her future. [People]
♦ The fact that Kate Moss rarely does interviews or goes on TV is looking like a wise move considering her appearance on British TV last night, for all the excitement, pretty much blows her mystique. [Fashionologie]

♦ Earning millions as a top international model is apparently getting old for 22-year-old Jessica Stam: She's getting her pilot's license. "Being above everything gives you a natural high," she says. [WWD]
♦ How did Alessandra Facchinetti learn she was getting ousted as Valentino's head designer? She read about it in the press. [WSJ]

Vote for your favorite look from the new Alexander McQueen collection, now available at Target.