♦ Guy Ritchie met up with sons David and Rocco in London yesterday for the first time since October, but only after agreeing to follow a list of rules issued by Madonna, which included no new friends, no fast food, no newspapers, and no TV. [Us, Mirror]
♦ Back in the US, Madonna supposedly threw an "intimate dinner party" at her apartment so she could introduce Alex Rodriguez to a group of her friends. [Mirror]
♦ One week after Tim Robbins experienced a few problems trying to cast his vote in the presidential election, officials now say they pinpointed the issue: Robbins turned up at the wrong polling location, which he might have known if he'd bothered to vote in the mid-term elections. [NYDN, P6]

♦ Madonna's neighbors in her Central Park West building aren't happy that she has turned her seventh-floor apartment into a music studio. (It was originally supposed to be an office for Guy Ritchie.) Now she stays up all night blaring music and practicing for her shows. [NYDN]
♦ Alex Rodriguez is thinking of following Madonna on tour next month when she plans to make stops in Brazil, Chile, and Argentina. [R&M]
♦ Is Jennifer Aniston secretly leaking pregnancy and marriage rumors about herself to the tabloids as a way to steal attention away from Brangelina? [MSNBC]
♦ Friends of Padma Lakshmi want everyone to know she is not a gold digger. She's a "hard-working, self-made woman" who just happens to only date extremely wealthy, older men. [P6]
♦ Peaches Geldof and Max Drummey's 97-day-old marriage may already be on the rocks. [The Sun]

♦ A long list of celebs have been involved in a last-minute effort to get out the vote for Obama, including Oprah, Diddy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Edie Falco, John McEnroe, Mary J. Blige, Russell Simmons, Beyonce, and Jay-Z. In the elderly celebrity writer department, Vanity Fair's Dominick Dunne says he postponed surgery so he could vote today. [R&M, Politico]
♦ Ivana Trump has been calling Marius Rusovici, the 23-year-old Belgian she's been hanging out with, "her boyfriend," although it may just be a plot to make Rossano Rubicondi jealous. Or stir up some press. Or both. [NYDN]
♦ David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were spotted holding hands while their kids went trick-or-treating on the Upper East Side last Friday, which may or may not mean they're getting back together. [P6]
♦ Sumner Redstone's ex-wife, Paula Fortunato, is still living in his Beverly Hills mansion. But he may have already reunited with his ex-girlfriend, Manuela Herzer. [P6]

Yesterday the New York Post reported that A-Rod and Madonna crashed at Jerry Seinfeld's $103 million dollar pad in the Hamptons last week, having taken separate helicopters to get there for just a four-hour long stay. Now that the Dominican slugger is hanging out with the Seinfelds, there's not much question as to where he'll be spending his Rosh Hashanahs and Hanukahs, but what exactly did the magical couple do for four hours in the Hamptons before heading back in one copter? Here's an educated guess:When Alex married a woman he met at the gym while he nervously watched her train, he had dipped into the cougar pit for what was probably not the first time. As disturbing as we find the idea of Rodriguez worshipping the Kabbalah, if this is step one to making A-Rod a Jew, we have to support it. Here's how their time in the Hamptons broke down: 2 p.m.: Lunchtime! A-Rod has a cantaloupe, a Caesar salad and a Red Bull, while Madonna drains the blood of a vampire played by Stephen Root in order to maintain eternal life. 2:15 p.m.: Spongebob Squarepants. How do you fill your days?

Now that Madonna has entered the "ex texting" part of her breakup with Guy Ritchie ("OMG Debi Mazar Hates U 2"), it's time for Hollywood's looky-loos to saddle up and choose a side. On Team Madonna, we have Yankee T-friendly Rocco, a concerned Gwyneth Paltrow, and Alex Rodriguez, whereas Team Guy consists of little but his Sherlock Holmes cast, a discarded British accent used by Madonna over the last decade, and maybe Sarah Palin? Someone should ask her! Now, Page Six breaks the news of two new celebs warming the bench for Madonna: Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld, who are loaning out their house so Madonna and A-Rod can get it on.

• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez helicoptered to the Hamptons, spent four hours in a house with Jerry Seinfeld and possibly Seinfeld's wife, then helicoptered back home. Must have been quite a dinner party. [Post, Sun]

♦ Madonna and Alex Rodriguez were able to fly out to the Hamptons for a "quick and cozy rendezvous" without anyone knowing, but only because Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld picked the couple up (separately) from the East Hampton airport and let them hang out for several hours at their waterfront manse. [P6, The Sun]
♦ With her husband Rossano Rubicondi filming a reality show in Italy, Ivana Trump has been hanging out with a 23-year-old Belgian model named Marius Rusovici. [P6]
♦ Tina Brown and Cathie Black are enemies, apparently, since they "disagreed on just about everything" and "wouldn't even look at each other," at a conference this week. [R&M]
♦ Is John McCain making an Saturday Night Live appearance this weekend? Does anyone care? [MSNBC]

♦ Alex Rodriguez has already lowered the price of his Trump Park Avenue condo by $1.5 million, just a month after first putting it on the market. It's now listed for $12.5 million, although A-Rod is also willing to rent it out instead, assuming there's anyone willing to pay $50,000 a month for an unfurnished apartment. [NYP, Modlin Group]
♦ Divorce attorney Zoltan Hankovszky has sold his townhouse at 88 Remsen Street in Brooklyn Heights for $10.8 million. That makes it the most expensive sale ever recorded in the neighborhood. [Brownstoner]
♦ The West 9th Street townhouse once occupied by Elizabeth Jagger—she rented one of the five apartments in the building until recently—is now on the market for $7.95 million. [NYP, Corcoran]

♦ Philippe Pascal, the head of LVMH's watch and jewelry division (left), has paid $4.3 million for a two-bedroom apartment on the 14th floor of 955 Fifth. [Cityfile]
♦ Goldman Sachs managing director Lester Brafman paid $3.5 million for a three-bedroom apartment at 1165 Park Avenue. Presumably he'll combine it with the adjacent unit that he already owns. [Cityfile]
♦ Hedge funder Scott Bessent has listed his duplex at One Sutton Place South for $12.5 million, just $500,000 more than he paid for it 15 months ago. [NYT, Brown Harris Stevens]
♦ Alex Rodriguez's 8,310-square-foot mansion in Coral Gables, Florida, is on the market for $14.876 million. [Access H'wood, Coldwell Banker]

• Fashion student Andrea Feick, 19, met U2 singer Bono in a club on the French Rivieria, met up with him later in St. Tropez, walked on the beach with him, posed for a picture in a bikini from his lap and rode on his yacht. She can't believe anyone would insinuate they might be more than friends. He's "much older than I am!" Think that will work on Bono's wife? [Mail]

[Athleticist Alex Rodriguez, who plays for the New York Yankees baseball squadron and is maybe sleeping with Madonna, leaving his New York apartment today; image via INF]

Matthew Broderick riding his bike in Tribeca ... Keri Russell crossing the street ... Gavin Rossdale signing autographs outside ABC ... Kelly Ripa jogging outside for a TV segment ... Ugly Betty's Becki Newton and Michael Urie hugging on the sidewalk ... Alex Rodriguez leaving a parking garage in Midtown ... Kelly Cutrone in Soho, screaming on her cell phone ... Nastia Liukin on the set of Gossip Girl ... Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, and Vanessa Hudgens leaving lunch at Serendipity 3 on East 60th ... Katie Holmes getting out of an SUV outside the Schoenfeld Theatre ... and Tom Cruise and Suri boarding a helicopter.

Another day, another approximately 12,000 steaming new dishes laid out in the ongoing Madonna/Guy Ritchie divörgåsbord, a sumptuous schadenfreude buffet. We highlight a few, for your gustatory enjoyment:· Madonna's inner-circle (a 450-person-strong army consisting of stylists, trainers, hair & makeup people, plastic surgeons, background singers and Voguers, and one horseback riding instructor) claim Ritchie's nickname is "Material Guy," for his notorious gold-digging tendencies. [The Sun] · A-Rod is shopping around for real estate near Madonna's apartment on the Upper West Side, and is closing in on an $80 million, 5,200-square-foot penthouse in the new Robert A.M. Stern condo going up there. [NY Daily News] · In the NYC-London battle royale for Madonna's presence, look for New York to win. She accepted a life in London for Ritchie's sake. That means a Brooklyn accent should return within the year! Yay! [People] · Unless of course you believe the story that says her heart is in London, and she could never leave. [Daily Mail] · Ritchie reportedly infuriating Madonna when she learned he humiliated daughter Lourdes by pointing out her budding breasts and saying she's "becoming a woman" over lunch. [The Sun] · Ritchie claims he's being spied upon by Madonna's camp, saying, "this is a divorce, not the Cold War." [The Sun] · Madonna and kids arrived at the Chelsea Piers sports facility in New York with a massive security duty—and in a particularly nice touch, Rocco was wearing a Yankees T-shirt. Both he and sister Lourdes were photographed laughing and playing. [Daily Mail] · African demi-orphan David Banda's biological father is apparently listening in to the developments on his battery-operated Aiwa radio in disgust, telling The Sun: "I am still a poor farmer with nothing to offer, but maybe he'd be better off back with us. This woman, Madonna, told me herself that David was beautiful and made her happy and she promised to take care of him. Now I see him in a big bewildering crowd in the street with people pushing and shoving, and many cameras around, and without a mother and father to hold his hand. I'm feeling bad for him." [Newsday]

Alex Rodriguez walking in Midtown with Guy Oseary ... Madonna with kids Rocco and Lourdes on a trip to Chelsea Piers ... Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens standing outside the GMA studios ... Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their way to a cocktail party for All My Sons ... The Hanson brothers hanging out in Times Square for some sort of PR stunt ... Jason Schwartzman and Olivia Thirlby on the set of their new film, Bored to Death ... The cast of Gossip Girl standing on set ... Anna Wintour, Vera Wang, Tory Burch, Donna Karan, and many others walking into the Golden Heart Awards Dinner ... and a long list of notables entering last night's Whitney gala, including the host of the event, Donatella Versace.

♦ Who's helping Madonna cope with her nasty, public divorce from Guy Ritchie? Best pal Gwyneth Paltrow, of course. "You know, she's a dear friend, and I'm supporting her in all [the] ways that I can... she's a very good friend." [Us, AP]
♦ In other Madonna news, Guy Ritchie now believes Madonna is spying on him, Madonna is now suggesting she wants to raise her kids in NYC, and Alex Rodriguez wants to move so he can be closer to the love of his life. [The Sun, People, R&M]
♦ Least plausible rumor ever: "Well placed sources" say that if Obama is elected president, he'll consider making Oprah British Ambassador. [TMZ]

♦ Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have officially split, the focus is now on her relationship with Alex Rodriguez: Some say he knew that the separation announcement was coming, which is why he's been "lying low" in a five-star Beverly Hills hotel for the past few days. [Us, NYP, E!]
♦ How's Guy doing? Don't worry about him: He could walk away with as much as $250 mil. in a settlement since he and Madonna never had a prenup. [NYP]
♦ A sex tape starring Peter Cook and Diana Bianchi may be out there, although Cook's lawyers are still saying he has "no knowledge" it exists. [P6]
♦ David Duchovny and Tea Leoni have officially split up. We're as shocked as you are [E!]
♦ Raffaello Follieri didn't just swindle adults. He also tricked a 15-year-old girl by promising to get her Anne Hathaway's autograph and then never coming though. Now she's suing him. [NYDN]

So the Sun, England's most tasteful, reputable daily tabloid, sent word around late Tuesday that Madonna and Guy Ritchie will officially divorce by the end of the year. ("They can't bear the pretence!") We unpacked our grain of salt while sorting through the months of rumors preceding this one, but with everyone from the AP to Time hitching on and the singer's exasperated rep admitting, "We're not going to know anything until the US wakes up," all public signs indicate this is finally it. After the jump, a quick recap of how we got here, and what's likely next.While split talk had jammed the tabloids essentially since the day they were married in 2000, with Madonna publicly grumbling for years now about her unfulfilled sex needs, the gossip was all so much noise until the fantastic Madgerod Cynthavitz controversy that exploded over the summer. The scandal placed Madonna in Yankees slugger/"fucking soulmate, dude" Alex Rodriguez's comforting, Kabbalah-friendly arms, while A-Rod's wife Cynthia retreated to Paris for an extended stay in an apartment owned by Lenny Kravitz. "Nothing to see here," said Kravitz, who urged calm while Madonna's flack denied that A-Rod had ever charged her client's mound. Fine, then. Except the Rodriguezes divorced soon after, and as recently as two weeks ago Madonna and A-Rod were reportedly spotted dining together again in New York. This while Ritchie fled the spotlight, tapering off press for his new film RockNRolla and jetting back to England to commence shooting Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr.. So last night's announcement seems ideally timed for both him and Madge, who is five shows into her Sticky & Sweet world tour, where nearly half of her 25 American dates have yet to sell out. Oh — and her new own directorial debut, Filth and Wisdom, opens in New York and LA this Friday. Convenient! Not so convenient: The economy of Splitsville. The London Times reports today that the couple didn't have a pre-nup, thus encouraging Madonna to file for divorce in the States, where she'd likely earn a more favorable take from her and Ritchie's $600 million fortune. If Ritchie fights for a London divorce, the legal saga could play out for upward of a year. We don't buy for a second that these details aren't already arranged between the two, but the Times adds that still doesn't guarantee an official split by Christmas, as Madge reportedly hopes for. Certainly there's more to follow, which we'll report as it happens. In the meantime, don't look so down! We'll always have Swept Away.

Marc Jacobs standing on the sidewalk outside the Mercer Hotel ... David Duchovny jogging across the street ... Molly Shannon and Nigella Lawson outside ABC studios ... Naomi Watts walking in the West Village with bag from the Container Store ... Salma Hayek and daughter Valentina arriving at their hotel ... Penn Badgley shooting a scene on the Gossip Girl set in Brooklyn ... Katie Holmes carrying Suri out of their East 13th Street apartment building ... Ethan Hawke crossing the street ... Paula Deen and her husband Michael arriving at their hotel ... Beck outside the Letterman show ... Madonna and Alex Rodriguez leaving Yom Kippur services at the Kabbalah Center ... Sarah McLachlan leaving her hotel in Midtown ... and Daniel Radcliffe talking to fans outside the Broadhurst Theater.

♦ Rachael Ray's reps are denying reports that Ray has throat cancer, although they do admit she's having surgery for a cyst on her vocal cord in December. [People]
♦ It was a busy weekend for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. With hoards of paparazzi in tow, the couple made an appearance at the premiere of Changeling, where Angelina showed off her newest tattoos (the coordinates of the places where each of her kids was born) and told reporters that she and Brad are planning to have even more kids. [NYDN, OK!, previously]
♦ Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky tied the knot on Friday night at Le Cirque with Billy Joel performing in front of guests like Denise Rich, Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, and Donald Trump. [NYP, Us]
♦ A fire at Geraldo Rivera's home on Friday didn't singe his mustache, but it did damage the two 1954 Jaguars in his garage. [P6]

Perhaps mindful that her McCain/Hitler concert montage went over about as well as a soiled dominatrix outfit, pop superstar Madonna has returned to the well that attracted her the most attention this year: her are-they-or-aren't-they flirtation with New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Though Madonna's camp had quelled the rumors before by having her step out with husband Guy Ritchie, the director is now overseas shooting Sherlock Holmes, and Us Weekly says that Madonna seized the opportunity to meet up with Rodriguez once more: