Amanda Carpenter provided a gendered response to the Ensign scandal; MC Hammer shamed a writer and Choire Sicha revealed Awl. For the Twitterati, it was a day to discuss secrets.

It's a horrible disease that threatens everyone's well-being! No, not the swine flu, silly — we're talking Twitter. Alan Meckler, Jon Fine, and Patrick Gavin were among today's victims:

The advent of Oprah has not changed the inanity of Twitter. Today, Bonnie Fuller met someone supercute, Karen Tumulty landed in the wrong spot, and Alex Blagg recommended meth!

Twitter is the ideal medium to express your own idiocy. Dan Abrams denounces the mainstream media which gave birth to his career, a Google-enriched entrepreneur eats its free lunch, and Alan Meckler discovers Twitter:

Failed Internet mogul Alan Meckler is really excited about the Semantic Web, aka Web 3.0! And who can blame him, since he pretty much failed at versions 1.0 and 2.0? Meckler, who has run a passel of third-rate Internet websites since the early '90s, when he was best-known for trade titles like CD-ROM Librarian, now calls his company WebMediaBrands. Laurel Touby's Mediabistro.com is part of his collection. The boa-bedecked editrix reports breathlessly on Twitter that her boss has called the Semantic Web "the next stage of the Internet."

Since it was built in 1931, River House, the swank and secluded Art Deco palace behind wrought-iron gates at the dead end of East 52nd Street, has topped the short list of exclusive (and very expensive) co-ops along the East River waterfront. Home to Henry Kissinger (and Pete Peterson until recently), the building boasts three 20 million+ listings at the moment, including a large tower duplex owned by real estate mogul Francesco Galesi, which was boldly listed for $50 million almost three years ago but has since come down to $35 million. (Other apartments for sale include Laura Pels' terraced third-floor unit for $29 million, and the opulent maisonette of Chicago producer Marty Richards.) Naturally, it's also home to a long list of heavy-hitting political donors. After the jump, a list of what some River House residents have done with their cash in this year's battle for the White House.

If you hadn't noticed, I got married and went on a honeymoon. Did you miss me? Apparently so. Gizmodo gets banned from CES. Golson asks Calacanis for a job. Our very special correspondent pickets against the new pay system. Where was Denton with the "too insidery" warnings? Oh that's right, blogging for Gawker. Here's what really happened during the first two weeks of 2008, according to a speed-read of my feeds. On my next honeymoon, I'm bringing a laptop.

Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby and all her Laurel Touby-loving friends have put together a very special Christmas video to wish you happy holidays! From Touby's "media family" (which includes husband Jon Fine, Bonnie Fuller, and Arianna Huffington) to yours (which probably doesn't), please have a "warm and fuzzy New Year!" It's just like that I Am African campaign but without any social good and slightly less funny!

Watch Jupitermedia CEO Alan Meckler lose his executive cool after former employee Nicholas Carlson — our own Alleywag in New York City — deems him "old, rich and boring."

Silicon Alley Insider decided to revive one of Jason Calacanis's oldest traditions and produce a Silicon Alley 100. In doing so, the blog run by disgraced tech stock analyst Henry Blodget just proves the thoroughgoing irrelevance of the exercise. The editors' No. 1 man in New York? Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Some other highlights among the old, the rich and the boring? AOL topper Randy Falco, IAC's Barry Diller and Jupitermedia's Alan Meckler. The closest SAI comes to someone we care about is VC blogger Fred Wilson — a moneyman, not an entrepreneur. As in Calacanis's time, New York is where ideas come to be financed, repackaged, and marketed — not invented.

Alan Meckler, CEO of Internet.com, started a blog fairly recently and is writing quite a bit about his primary competitor, Fred Rosen (the CEO of Key3Media, which produces Comdex.) [Ed. notedoes Meckler's attorney know he has a blog?] From Meckler's CEO blog: "Well Cap'n [Fred Rosen]your legal machinations will put us in the news and help ensure our victory. So bring it on and make my day! You and your crew continue to demonstrate why your company is in bankruptcy. Please keep the steady course into the iceberg field! Please continue to destroy Comdex." Another reason why NY is better than San Francisco: our leftover dot com CEOs are far more entertaining.
Comdex is desperate [CEO Weblog: Alan Meckler]