A TSA memo shows that an officer at the Philadelphia International Airport was fired earlier this year after telling passengers going through a baggage screening that he'd found a vial of white powder in their luggage.

Bizarre Irish twin act Jedward has been harassed repeatedly at Heathrow Airport by security agents who think it's funny to bully singing X-Factor twins with curious hair. Take it from people who also fit that description: It gets better, Jedward.

According to a new study, the country lost $32.9 billion in 2007 from delayed flights, including $8.3 billion in added expenses for airlines. Maybe airlines could save cash making their flights run on schedule before charging us $25 a bag?

Spotted at a Phoenix airport: A t-shirt that reads, "CAUTION STAY 100 METERS AWAY OR YOU WILL BE SHOT," in English and in Arabic. (At least, that's what the tipster thinks it says in Arabic.) A close-up is below. Updated.

Two terminals at Miami International Airport were evacuated around 9 p.m. and evacuees "put into a large room," reportedly because of a "Texas man" with something suspicious (deep-fried beer?) in his luggage. The concourses may be closed all night. [Pic]

In addition to rolling out full-body nudie scanners in airports across the country, the TSA is now giving travelers the option of an "enhanced" pat-down. With the TSA's record of responsible behavior, what could ever go wrong?

For those of you who were wondering: old men wearing camo halter tops and matching bikini bottoms will—repeat, will—be allowed to board planes, here in America. It's the land of the free. Duh. Larger pic is below.

Vice President Joe Biden's motorcade is famous for leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. Seems the Biden curse applies to Air Force Two as well: Biden's jet damaged a small plane on a Long Island tarmac today.

Today we looked at how airports are gonna get a whole lot drunker. We used a particularly evocative picture to illustrate the post, causing one commenter to wax poetic, a melancholy, drunken elegy.

Sometime in the "coming months," LaGuardia and JFK airports will get full body nudie scanners so TSA officials can see your genitals in a dark room on a computer screen. They can apparently detect bombs and drugs and stuff, too.

Dulles and Reagan National Airports in Washington, DC have both opened bathrooms for pets.

Things turned ugly after a training session for full-body scanners at Miami International Airport this week, when TSA employee Rolando Negrin beat a co-worker with a police baton for making fun of his "small genitalia" in front of everyone.

Up to 60% of scheduled flights will resume across much of Europe today, but England's airports will remain closed due to volcanic ash. Most airports have been closed for the past five days. [BBC]

The worst part of being stranded at the airport due to an Icelandic volcano? It's not being trapped on the road or shut out of hotels. It's having no place to shower!

Volcanic ash from Iceland is significantly disrupting flights in and out of the UK.

What is this country coming to when a child can't direct air traffic at JFK without causing a big todo?

This undated audio is of a small child giving instructions to the pilots of jetliners full of people as they come in to land at one of the world's busiest airports. It's either charming, or scary. [Fox]

JFK's main runway is closed for repairs from today. Expect delays, fewer flights and more expensive tickets. Hold-ups will also have a ripple effect on LA, Orlando and San Francisco. [AP]

It's only been a couple of weeks since the TSA announced plans to install 300 full-body scanners at airports around the country. Which is more than enough time for an ad agency to figure out a way to exploit the subject and suggest in a new ad campaign that women will now need to pay more attention to the lingerie they wear. [Copyranter]

This is the man who brought Newark to a standstill on Sunday when he walked past a chatty TSA agent and made his way into a secure section of the terminal. (The "dopey lothario" was on his way to hook up with a woman, apparently.) Do you recognize him? Would you recognize your own father if the photo in question was this blurry? Probably not, but on the off chance that you do, you're advised to get in touch with law enforcement immediately. He could be picking up ladies at public transportation facilities this very minute. [NYDN]