Today, the internet has ascribed an inspiring bit of heroism to Paul Rudd, after video surfaced this weekend of a man who almost, kind of looks like Paul Rudd helping to prevent an alleged hate crime at Dallas-Fort Worth Airport (as shown in the video above). Alas, @TheRealPaulRudd was actually thousands of miles away, likely doing nothing, while real American heroes got their hands dirty.

Richard Dunn, the man who just became internet famous for making a music video for Celine Dion's "All By Myself" while stuck in the Las Vegas airport, has caught the attention of someone else who's trapped in Vegas: Celine Dion.

What was initially reported as a “dry ice bomb” Sunday night at Terminal 2 in LAX was an explosion of a plastic bottle filled with dry ice in an empty bathroom. While the terminal has since reopened, departing flights out of LAX are delayed and the FBI is investigating.

At 7:50 p.m. on Monday night, a Brink's armored truck on the Tarmac at Brussels Airport was loading a shipment of uncut diamonds onto a 8:10 Zurich-bound Helvetic Airlines flight. At 7:54 p.m., the diamonds were gone. What happened in between was "one of the biggest" diamond heists ever: a gang of eight thieves, apparently in dark clothing meant to resemble police uniforms and armed with "machine guns," drove through the airport fence in two vehicles, flashed their weapons at guards, seized the diamonds from the airport's cargo hold, and sped off. One of the vehicles was later found burned out nearby. "This was undoubtedly a highly professional job," a Belgian police source told the Evening Standard. The uncut diamonds, lacking certificates, will likely be unrecovered. The passengers on the Helvetic jet were apparently completely unaware that the heist was occurring a few yards away. [AFP | BBC | Telegraph | Evening Standard]

Important travel info(!!!): When Transportation Security Administration agents grope and grab your or your baby's body parts at airport security checkpoints, they're protecting America from terrorism. When prospective airplane passengers grope and grab TSA agents' body parts, it's felony sexual abuse.

For the past 20 years, Drew Mandy—whose parents describe him as having "the mental capacity of a two-year-old"—has carried a plastic hammer toy around with him for "security" reasons. It's his thing. But recently TSA agents took his beloved hammer away from him, because it made tapping noises.

The insane-ing of our airports continues with the story of Andre Reid, a 21-year-old from Mt. Vernon, NY, who was spotted strolling along the runway by the pilot of a US Airways airplane, just moments before it was about to take off. That "spooked" the pilot, the NY Post reports, leading him to "dump" the flight — a security re-screening of all passengers and luggage.

Actress, television personality, 2003 Miss USA and all-purpose spotlight-addict Susie Castillo taped a tearful announcement after being "molested," as she puts it, at the Dallas airport security checkpoint.

First the good news: A miracle zero deaths have been reporting following the tornado that tore through Bridgeton, a densely populated suburb of St. Louis, on Friday night, passing directly through the airport. Sadly, though, 750 homes were damaged, with 100 of those destroyed entirely. But still! No casualties, and only "minor injuries" to five people. Locals are praising the local weather service, which blared sirens 34 minutes before the tornado hit, as well as "the grace of God," as the mayor put it.

On tonight's Late Show, Brian Williams stopped by to chat with David Letterman about his holiday vacation. What did we learn? Williams' junk was felt up—multiple times!—by the TSA. Also: Williams never ceases to be hilarious. Watch inside.

Abdul Kadir, the would-be J.F.K. bomber, was sentenced to life in prison by a federal judge.

Oh, look! Here's a video of Antoine Dodson—of "Bed Intruder Song"/YouTube fame—arriving Wednesday night at LAX. Dodson, dressed to the nines and flanked by a bodyguard, chatted up the salivating paparazzi about being both famous and fabulous.

Among the pieces of evidence presented in support of California's new anti-paparazzi law—which passed on Tuesday—was this video of paparazzi terrorizing Kate Moss at LAX. Here's the video, alongside the images that landed in that week's tabloids.

Lady Gaga wore a studded metal corset to the airport in Vancouver and had to undergo an individual security check instead of the metal detector. She must have left her hat made of plastic explosives and knives at home. [NYP]

The very first Airbus A380 "superjumbo" jet is scheduled to fly into JFK tomorrow afternoon, filled to capacity with 489 well-heeled people from Dubai. (It's an Emirates flight.) Great news for the numerous New Yorkers who travel there frequently, sure. Even better news for the city's property owners, who will have likely unloaded half a dozen office towers in Midtown by tomorrow evening. [Crain's]