Cocaine and nuclear weapons: A good mix? That’s what an official probe into coke abuse by “about a dozen airmen” at the F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming will investigate, the AP reports.

Selected Air Force members, men and women, will be able to take three years off from the military to start families, a mirror of a recent pilot program by the Navy. It's a pretty novel idea. Almost as novel as paid parental leave, but not quite.

Earlier today, the Air Force fired nine nuclear commanders and announced plans to discipline dozens of junior officers in response to a widespread exam-cheating scandal.

An Air Force transport jet departing from Germany has been diverted due to an "in-flight incident" and will land soon in Massachusetts, The Boston Globe is reporting. Emergency crews are on standby awaiting the landing and are prepared for an unconfirmed depressurization in the plane's cabin.

The Air Force has roughly 500 officers in charge of protecting and maybe someday launching America's arsenal of land-based nuclear missiles. Nearly all of them cheat on every exam they take, at every chance they get, according to three veterans of the force.

The Air Force announced this afternoon that 37 nuclear missile officers have been implicated in academic cheating scandals and drug rings, and the ongoing investigation may turn up more misdeeds soon.

The top officer in charge of all the United States' land-based nuclear missiles was fired last July for unspecified reasons. Yesterday, the Air Force released a report detailing why he was relieved: He used a four-day mission to Moscow to get pickled, get sexy and party like a rock star.

The Air Force Academy's Honor Code states that its cadets "will not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate among us anyone who does." But the service apparently suspended that code when it forced mostly minority students to spy on their classmates to catch suspected drug users and sex offenders—only to forget all about them after they've been used as informants.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is dead, so opponents of gay military equality have to fine-tune their message again. Or to simply conceal it behind a veneer of "character" pseudoscience. Which probably explains why the once-gay Dr. Mike Rosebush has a job teaching leadership to future Air Force officers.

Some Air Force guys with the launch keys to nuclear warheads accidentally left blast doors open twice this year, but don't worry because the doors are only "intended to help prevent a terrorist...from entering the officers' underground command post and potentially compromising secret launch codes."

For the second time in less than a week, a senior commander of the U.S. nuclear forces has been fired.

An airman most likely training to be a member of the Air Force Security Forces volunteers to get Tasered and inadvertently invites one of her trainers to share in her pain.

It used to be that every red-blooded young boy watched Top Gun and dreamed of growing up to be a fighter pilot, though hopefully not one killed during an emergency ejection. Today, the Air Force cannot get enough fighter pilots to fill its fancy planes.

The U.S. Air Force's F-35 fighter jet, which is still in development, is projected to cost us $1.4 million per hour for the next 25 years.

Meet Lt. Col. Jeff Krusinski. Lt. Col. Krusinksi is the head of the Air Force’s Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program. This weekend, Lt. Col. Krusinksi was arrested for—you guessed it—sexual assault.

The Air Force has reversed a policy of reporting drone strikes in Afghanistan and has wiped the information from past reports that were on its website as well. Last October, the Air Force Central Command began publishing reports of the strikes from remote piloted aircraft as part of an effort to "provide more detailed information on RPA ops in Afghanistan." After releasing statistics for each month through January, the February report contained no information regarding drone strikes, and the older reports have each had their drone strike information removed from the website (the Air Force is apparently unfamiliar with the wonders of Archive.org).

Day two of bad news for the Air Force's vaunted mortuary affairs operation at Dover, Delaware, where our nation's war dead are lovingly and respectfully welcomed home. Yesterday we learned that the Air Force is known to lose a body part or two on occasion. Today we come to find that for most of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars it disposed of loose unidentified body parts by burning them and throwing them in a landfill.

The Air Force's mortuary affairs department—those elite professionals who oversee the return of our nation's war dead with solemn reverence at Dover Air Force Base—has lost body parts of dead airmen on at least two occasions, according to a new government report.

If Air Force researchers have their way, the military's next flying robots of doom will be tiny, and indistinguishable from the naked eye from small birds, bats or even insects. And they'll take their first flight in a freaky "Micro-Aviary" in Ohio, where engineers make mini-machines modeled on those creatures of the sky.

The virus that infected the military's drone fleet is "used to steal log-in and password data from people who... play games like Mafia Wars online." So comforting to know that our pilotless death machines are operated by Mafia Wars fans!