What with the big uproar over Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson piping up against gay sex, let's all remember: sodomy is still illegal down there in Louisiana. Phil Robertson for Louisiana Attorney General!

A&E's Intervention, the reality show about addiction-cum-vehicle for some of the most extreme human behavior ever shown on television, ended with last night's episode. It was its 194th. A&E announced the cancelation in May, and while the network didn't specific exactly why, it's clear that the 8-year-old show has been eclipsed in ratings by newer A&E franchises. Last week's new Intervention episode nabbed 1.35 million viewers, while a Duck Dynasty rerun that aired Wednesday night did 1.56 million viewers.

It all seemed to be going to well until Norman Bates busted out his iPod. Up until then (and granted, it was just a few minutes of airtime), it seemed like A&E's new scripted series, Bates Motel, was at least trying to preserve the legacy and reality of its source material, Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 horror classic Psycho. But no, this prequel series, which premiered last night, is set in the present, an act of folding time for the sake of...what? Not scaring the kids away with something that would have to be set in the '40s to preserve the timeline set by the film (and Robert Bloch's 1959 novel of the same name) while chronicling the adolescence of Norman Bates?

GLAAD, the spayed and neutered gay media watchdog, released its annual Network Responsibility Index, which charts the gay content of television networks. Guess what they found? The highest percentage of programming with gay and lesbian characters is targeted at young audiences.

A&E has canceled David Hasselhoff's brand new reality show, The Hasselhoffs, after only about 500,000 people tuned into the second episode this past Sunday.

Did you know that A&E commissioned a new reality show about David Hasselhoff and his family, called The Hasselhoffs, to premiere next month? Well, now you do! Oh, also: there's a promo, featuring a hairy-chested baby Hasselhoff. Ew? Watch inside.

Steven Seagal: Lawman is back! And it's still basically Cops with a celebrity guest. Fresh off handing a homeless man $20, Seagal philosophized about his job and warrior mentality. Then, he sliced some bamboo with a sword! Video inside.

Last night's Intervention featured Dionicio, a heroin addict. As is common with most users, he came from a horribly abusive childhood, but something in his eyes and the way he reminisced made his story exceptionally heartbreaking.

Last night's Obsessed featured Al and his two daughters, Jodi and Tammy, who suffer from agoraphobia—the fear of open, public spaces. In their cases, the father-daughter trio can't leave their small town in Florida.

Publicist Howard Bragman, known for shepherding celebrities like Chaz Bono through the coming out process, has teamed up with A&E to make a one-off reality special called Coming Out, in which people of note will, well, come out.

The addicts who appear on A&E's Intervention have a 71 percent recovery rate, which is astonishingly high. Of the 161 addicts profiled on the show, 130 are allegedly still sober. See? Reality television isn't entirely bad after all.

Tonight's South Park parodied A&E's Intervention with everyone's favorite pot smoking towel. It seems the little blue rascal has opened the gateway to harder drugs like crystal-meth and heroin. Oh Towelie, why won't you listen to those that love you?

20 years ago, Gene Simmons would've laughed if you told him he'd be getting a pedicure on television—especially one that scares him. And While the blood-spewing, tongue-lashing Simmons is a classic, the Nouveau Simmons is pretty hilarious, too.

Spring is here, and with it comes one of the most-loathed tasks of the year: Spring Cleaning. But before you give up about the hopeless mess that is your life, remember- it could be worse. You could be a Hoarder.

Word came this morning that two networks, A&E and Discovery, are fighting over quitting governor Palin's proposed reality series about her native homeland, the Alaska. Which she would host. If this thing actually goes to air, what'll it be like?

From the network that brought you "Paranormal Cops" and that show about the exterminator comes a new drama about the dramatic tedium faced by New York MTA workers. Well—it would be coming, if the MTA had its shit together.

One of the biggest problems in Jefferson Parish is drinking and driving. So one would think the main responsibility of the police department would be to stop those DUIs. Not if there are rats in the canal that need shootin'!

The Hoff is back: A&E has picked up a reality series starring David Hasselhoff and it's gonna be huge. What do you think the show's about? Drinking? No, unfortunately. It is about his David Hasselhoff's beautiful daughters.

Each episode of A&E's Intervention follows a pattern: the addict's tragic past is explored, his/her horrifying effect on friends and family is exposed, and the intervention is staged. Character is what distinguishes each episode. Tonight's Jennifer was an instant classic.

We are in awe that this show is actually airing. Filmed before the late Michael's death, A Family Dynasty follows around the least fab four of the Jackson Five and airs the family's dirty laundry.