Ever wonder why there's never any news on the weekends? It's because come 5:00 PM on Friday, all the respectable adults who write the stuff decamp to greener pastures. Maybe the most verdant of said pastures? Montclair, N.J.— a wondrous place a bit more than twelve miles west of Manhattan (20 miles as-the-car-drives), where legend has it that M.F.A. moms drive carpools and J-school dads coach Little League. This compact hinterland of the creative class (6.3 sq. mi., pop. 39,000) has got everything today's enlightened parents need to raise a brood of precocious little scribblers: six train stations with speedy service into the big city, a legitimate art museum, a bunch of scruffy cinemas (just try looking for The Host and The Lives of Others in Park Slope), and even diversity, both in the form of ethnic foods and ethnic peoples. So pack up the Camry, kids, we're going on safari through the suburban wilds of Montclair!